


trying to fall twice

by WhiteOrchids_N



Category: Shefani
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-17 02:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 42,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8127514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteOrchids_N/pseuds/WhiteOrchids_N
Summary: Try not to hate me. Kisses, Noor





	1. chocolate brown

"Blake, babe," I feel lips being pressed against my face, leaving kisses all over it. In a matter of seconds, my eyebrows start to slightly move up and down as my eyes squeeze shut a little harder, soon to start opening up. "Gwen?" Sleepily I mumbled  my gorgeous girlfriend her name, with my hoarsely voice, making the southern accent shine through even more. Blindly I searched for her face, to bring it closer towards mine.

"Babe, I'm gonna go to the studio to record some stuff for the trolls movie, remember?" Without hesitating, I nodded fiercely while trying to fight the small strokes of light slipping through the window. Soon I felt her warm lips being pressed on mine, which made my tiredness disappear as it brought me fully on earth. My hands placed itself quickly around her waist, as she reluctantly pulled away from me and started to get herself up from the crouched position she had placed herself in, next to our bed. I heard her let out an adorable giggle as, she gave in to my needs, as she took a step closer to me again and bended down to give me one more kiss. Luckily, my grip around her was strong enough to throw her over me on the bed while she let out a loud, amused yelp. "Blake, no!" She had shouted while giggling as I spooned up to her in bed, not letting her body slip out of my embrace. "I have to go!!" She pouted while still laughing as she tried her way out of my arms.

"I won't let you. You're too comfortable to let go, even for only a couple of hours." She sighted at my cheesy comments as she stopped the twisting, and simply turned around in my tight grasp. She threw her tiny arms in my neck as her soft smile reached my eyes, obligating me to smile back at her. In a slow torture she started to reach up to my face and after what felt like hours, her lips finally touched mine again. Immediately using her tongue, pressing it against my lips. As I opened my lips and stroke her tongue with mine, my hands had left her back and fling right up to her hair. Just when both my hand had moved up to cup her cheeks, her warm lips left mine as she rolled away on the bed quickly. Leaving me totally shocked as I hadn't noticed the game she had been playing. She was laughing hard, when she ran to the doorframe of our bedroom, she had a bold smile on her face. "You're so easy!" She said, challenging me. Which made me jump out of the bed, which she obviously wasn't expecting as I ran towards her. She cried out an amused, high pitched shriek, as she raced away from me. In a matter of seconds, I had a hold of her, considering my legs were twice as long as hers or something as I tilted her up, throwing her on my shoulder, as if she's a little kid.

Gwen couldn't stop laughing, as I tickled her, while I didn't let her leave from my shoulder. Her legs had been throwing in all directions as she cried out to sat her down.

About ten minutes later, after our fight had ended, Gwen was in her car, driving out of her driveway. To leave for the studio, a little late, but still. I was standing in her front door, as I saw her chocolate brown eyes meet mine one last time, as she winked up at me, right before her car disappeared out of gate and she drove off.

That was the last time in an entire month long that I have seen her chocolate brown eyes, gazing at me with the same love I was feeling for her. Instead now, I was sitting next to her hospital bed, with her hand in mine. Being accompanied with the constant beeping tone of her heartbeat, produced by the machine next to her. A little wire in her noise, making sure she's getting enough oxigen to her brain. Even though she was in a coma, she still was the prettiest girl in the whole wide world. With her straight blond hairs laying down on her pillow. Which I had still brushed this morning. Every single one of my days of the last month had been spend here. By her side, waiting for her eyes to open up. After a car had hit hers, and had closed her eyes ever since. I used to feel guilty, that I made her late. 'Causing her to maybe be in a hurry and her speeding up. Or her not paying enough attention to the other drivers as the hurry took a hold of her. Even though both police, doctors and friends and family told me she wasn't the one in fault. That she hadn't been the one to ignore the speed limits. That she hadn't been careless. But somehow I had no ear for it.

Suddenly I felt a small squeeze in my hand, making me snap my head up to my beautiful girlfriend's one. I swear I felt her squeeze my hand. I was sure of it! Just when I started to doubt whether I was imagining things, to crack myself up or because of my lack of sleep, I saw her eye lids shiver.

"Gwen?" I jumped up from my chair as I placed myself on the side of her bed, to get a closer look. I wasn't wrong, she was actually waking up. My hand went to her cheek as I stroke my finger over her soft skin. And suddenly  all the butterflies returned as her chocolate brown eyes met mine. Not really focussing on me.

"Hey babygirl, you're waking up, hi!" My eyes were almost filling with tears as all the feelings from the last month caught up to me. As she was in critic condition, when they had to do hundredth of surgeries and even more check-ups. And eventually for her not to wake up right away. Leaving all of us wondering whether she ever would. But seeing the beautiful colour of her eyes again, made me realise everything will be alright. Hastily I pressed on the button, to let a nurse come to our room as soon as possible. When I looked back at Gwen, she kept on looking up at me with her big, brown and confused eyes. After a few seconds, she tried to talk, as she pulled her head away from where my hand was laying on her cheek. "What is it, you need something? Some water?" I asked while grabbing my cup of water that was standing on the table nearby. But nevertheless she shook her head.

"Who.."-- "Who are you?" She said suddenly, finding now not only confussion, but also fear in her eyes.  "And where is Gavin?" She said now rather loud and angry as sitting up straight and snapping her body away from me, once my hand tried to touch her arm.

"It's me. Blake. You had an accident", in the meantime the room had been filling with all kinds of nurses and doctors, as Gwen kept on staring at me, as if she was staring at a stranger. My hand reached for hers again, missing her warmth already. "Don't touch me!" She shouted now, histiric as she pulled her hand to hers. "Where is Gavin?" I took a step back, to make her feel more at ease, but apparently the doctors didn't think one step would be enough as one of the doctors pulled me by the arm and lead me out of the room, as Gwen kept her eyes focused on mine. Not letting it trail off to one of the other people in the room, watching me leave her side. Her eyes were still confused, but no longer angry. Flustered and scared. And it broke my heart, as the door closed behind me. Leaving me in the cold hallway.


	2. 2012

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> don't hate me

"You ok, Blake?" Patti asked when she hugged me tight, longer than usual. When she let go, I tried to stay as strong as possible, by just nodding at her.  Knowing that if I would use my voice, it would betray me. Patti stroked my arm a few more times, while she smiled up at me gratefully. A smile that reminded me of one I used to see every single day. From the person that saved my life in so many ways. Quickly Patti and Dennis made their way to Gwen her room, as I waited outside, trying not to confuse her too much. Giving her some time and space, to hopefully get her memory back soon.

It had been three days since she woke up, and as the doctors had advised us, we hadn't told her the truth yet. About her no longer being married to Gavin and having a country singer as her boyfriend now. There was fifty percent chance for her to regain her memory in the next three days. To prevent her from having to go through all the hurt she had gone through the last few years. To not push her noise to the fact that her husband cheated on her, if that wasn't necessary. 'Cause if she would start to remember everything again all by herself, she wouldn't have to find out about it again. But sadly enough, if she wouldn't have got it back after those three days, it would be better to tell her. To confront her with reality and to hope for the best. To hope that us telling about it, she'll get all her senses back.

The three of us went to the doctor to have a conversation about her memory loss. Afraid to hear the words we were about to hear.  

"All we know up to now is that she doesn't remember you at all, and as you just told us, you've known her for two years now. So her memory loss might be up to a bit more than two years, but it also could've easily be five or ten. " I nodded, as the doctor looked at me.

"She also has asked for her boys..." Patti added hesitantly. I hadn't seen Gwen since the day she woke up, so surely had no clue what she did or did no longer know. "... But she has never mentioned Apollo, not once."

"It occurs a lot, for coma patients to have memory loss. But sadly enough, we can't tell how long it will take for her to regain all of it, or even to assure you that she will get it back. All there's left for you to do, is see and wait.  Take her to places you've been or tell her stories." I took a seat on the closest chair I could find, I already suspected to hear that particular answer from the doctors. It's just... I really hoped that they could just tell us something more. Reassure me that she will remember me one day. I hid my face in my hands as I felt a strong hand squeezing my shoulder -probably Dennis.

"She thinks she's still married to her ex-husband and is constantly asking for him... We've told her he's out of town with the boys and will be coming home soon... Should we tell her the truth or-"The doctor leaded both of her parents to the seats next to me, as he answered their questions.

"Out of experience, we know that she might not believe you, if one of you tell her. It's all very confusing for her. So is there any way that the ex-husband himself can come over here and inform her himself. If it's coming from the person itself, it's mostly easier, less confusing. That way she will have to believe it.."

I had glanced up from out of my hands, to see both of Gwen her parents staring at me. With the look in their eyes that tell me that they want me to answer the question. That it's fully up to me.  In matter of fact, we all know that no matter how big of an ass Gavin can be, deep inside he'll always have a weakness for Gwen. And if we'll ask for his help, he'll do it. So I guess if what the doctor says is true, that in that way, it will alarm her less, then I'm up to it.

"Gavin has to come over with the kids anyway." I said, suddenly thinking about her boys. About how confusing the age different will be as well.  And let's not talk about Apollo...  I sighted as I took my phone and searched for Gavin through my contacts. I called him up. 

 

Over the phone, I had explained him the situation and asked him whether he would want to help us bring over the information. At first he wasn't too excited for it, which was understandable. As much as I hate the guy, I think we can all agree that it must not sound fun to agree on telling your ex-wife you cheated on her, while she still thinks your her perfect husband. When he started acting difficult, I confronted him with what an ass he actually is. That it's bad enough that he cheated on her and broke up her family, that the least he could do is help her now. He owns her that much. Eventually he agreed and seemed to be a reasonable person over the phone, as he said he was coming over immediately while also picking the three kids up from school earlier.

It took Gavin about an hour to get to the hospital with all three of the boys. In the meantime also Todd and Jen had arrived who took the roll of taking care of the kids. Considering we were first going to include Gwen on the ex-husband and boyfriend part. And after that, we might also bring out the kids, depending on how she's taking the first thing. Pati, Dennis and I had already entered the room before Gavin arrived, while I stayed on the background, just watching her interact with her parents. While she kept on asking who I was and what took Gavin so long to get here. She had locked eyes with me more than once and had even given me a small smile. Almost unnoticeable, but it was there.

When the door opened and Gavin was standing in the door frame, I saw Gwen's face light up.

"Honey!" Gwen shouted excited, as she looked in Gavin's eyes who had just taken a few more steps towards Gwen's bed. "Hi", he answered with a small, miserable smile on his face. He looked around him, searching for me. As his eyes met mine, he kept our gaze for a few seconds as Gwen her parents were leaving the room.

"I'm not leaving, no way in hell", I said in a whispering tone to Gavin, who nodded in understanding. Knowing I don't trust him and I never will. Who knows what he'll tell her if he's alone with her. Instead of having a discussion about wanting me to leave -which I expected, to be honest- he no longer focussed on me, as his eyes trailed off to Gwen who had asked him what was going on. Hesitantly I saw Gavin walk up to Gwen her bed and sit down on the side her bed. Gwen immediately sat straight up as she practically threw herself around his neck to hug him closely to her. His arms went around her as well, to return the hug. Which made me boil deep inside, because damn how badly I wanted to be him right now.

"God I'm so sorry Gavin, I must look like a mess", her cheeks turned lightly red, as mine did the same out of anger. Hearing her apologize for something like that to Gavin, already said enough about what an ass he actually was -or well is- to her.

"You look gorgeous." I flapped out as a reflex, which made her snap her head up at me, while giving me a confused, uncomfortable but at the same time thankful smile. After that I grabbed the newspaper that was on the table nearby as I pretended to read it.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what was happening right in front of me, as I saw Gwen's arm raising up and putting her hand on his neck, while stroking her finger tops over his neck.  As I opened my eyes again, I saw her hand trying to bring him down for a kiss. But to my huge relief -and surprise- , I saw his hand meeting hers on top of his neck, taking her hand and putting it next to her own body.

"Believe me, you don't want that", Gavin had simply stated, while letting out a sarcastic, miserable chuckle. He massaged his scalp quickly, thinking about what to do, how to tell her what was going on.

"Gavin, what's happening here? And who in hell is that guy?" She said while glancing over at me again, which made me look away from her, sadly. "He looks like a good guy, but I don't know him... and he keeps on staring at me. At us", she added, whispering now. Typically her, to not want to hurt anyone's feelings, not even in the position that she's in right now. Hearing her soft voice, the voice I fell in love with so badly, melted my heart. But broke it at the same time, as she spoke those exact words. "Can't he leave?"

Immediately Gavin shook his head, as his eyes wandered off at Gwen's hand stroking his arm.

"You don't want him to." He said as he looked at me again for a second before returning to look at beautiful Gwen.  "Gwen?" She made a humming sound, while frowning at Gavin.

"What year do you think it is?" He said, abrupt but necessary. Gwen was now frowning even more at her husband while her confusion in her eyes increased again.

"It's ok, take your time to think", I heard Gavin say, as she was having troubles with informing him.

"2012" She said eventually, her voice sounding frightened. All I wanted to do was hold her close to me and rock her to soothe her. To try and make her feel better.

"A month ago, you were in car accident." Gavin started to explain, while he looked her in the eye. Not touching her, even though she needed to be comforted. But I know that he was trying to keep his distance. To not make her any more confused than she already was, knowing what he was going to tell her next.

"and that car accident made you lose a part of your memory." I saw Gwen swallow a few times, as she started to puzzle things together.

"What year is it?" She asked, sounding strong and confident. But I know that inside of her, she was freaking out.

"2016", her hand that was still resting on his arm, stopped moving ever since she started to puzzle what he was telling her. And until that specific moment, she snapped her hand away from his arm. As her eyes lightly filled with tears. "We're no longer together, are we?" Gavin had already unlocked his eyes with hers as he shook his head in shame.

"A year and a half ago, I screwed up big time.--  I hurt you which made you leave." A tear rolled over her cheek as she heard Gavin speak the words. As she was realising that the words 'screwed up' meant 'cheating'.

"Where are my boys?" Her voice was filled with anger and hurt and I wish I could help her, but I can't. All the late night talks we've had, over how her heart broke when she found out. How even though she had her suspicions over the last year of their marriage, she still couldn't believe it. The way she described it, as the worst pain she had ever felt. As a knife through her back. But now, the time she remembers, she was happily married. No worries, no suspicions. And her world came crushing down all at once.  I can't believe she has to go through this again.

"They are here, with Todd. All three of them." That got her attention, as she started crying for real now. "If you want we can-"

"Enough! Gavin, leave!" I said as I stood up, no longer being able to handle hearing her sobs and well, being frustrated that he just decided to have to right to decide whether he could tell Gwen about Apollo. Because it's way too much in once. "Leave!" I spoke louder this time, which had an effect, considering he did stand up now and headed to the door. Once Gavin had turned his back towards Gwen, I saw her burst out in sobs.

"Send Todd here", is the last thing I said to Gavin as I saw him leave the room. Immediately I walked up to Gwen who was lost in her own sobs.

"Shh, everything will turn out alright", I said as I put my hand on her back. Her head snapped up and look at me.

"I don't even know you", she cried out in between her sobs, on which I replied: "It's ok, I'm just a friend." With that, I pulled my arm tighter around her, as she leaned it to search for any form of comfort. I pulled her in my arms, hearing her burst out in tears. While I kept on stroking her back, to comfort her.

Around  a minute later, Todd entered the room, which made me loosen my grip around her and let Todd change places with me. Casting one more look at my broken girl in her brothers arm, before I left the room. Not wanting to stay or comfort her any further. Not wanting her to get any more confused, as it's better to be consoled by someone she actually knows. And as much as it hurts me, I knew that wasn't me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Promise next chapter some more Gwen-Blake time. I promise!! :p


	3. google

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> beginning of a new beginning

Three days later, I woke up in the chair, sitting next to Gwen's hospital bed. My neck was aching terribly, as I moved my head to look up. For the first second, I didn't realise where I was, until I saw a pair of chocolate brown, wide awake eyes look at me. I saw Apollo laying with his head on her belly, as I noticed Gwen's little hand going through Apollo's curly head.

"Good morning", she said to me, as she raised her eyebrow. Quickly I ran my hands through my hair, to make it look better, when in real time, I actually only made it worse. If that was possible. I wasn't supposed to sleep in here, I wasn't even supposed to be here. But yesterday, late at night, I had slipped in her room, to check up on her. To see if she was sleeping already, which she luckily already was. It had been another rough day on her, as she met her two boys who were four year older then she remembered and to meet her youngest baby, which in her mind, she met for the first time.

Luckily things did go pretty well, as the boys were enthusiastic to see her and she took over their energy. The two oldest did understand though that she lost the four years of her memory -hopefully temporarily- but Apollo had no clue. So it was a bit weirder for him, not knowing why the atmosphere was a bit off. That's probably why he stayed with Gwen the entire night, because he missed his mom so much and no longer wanted to leave, especially not after the weird atmosphere.

But for me to stay the night here, wasn't the plan at all. Hell, we didn't even tell her yet that I was her boyfriend. Or well am. So waking up with her two year old baby, who she still has to get to know with a man you barely know for four days sleeping in a chair beside you... so far for trying to not confuse her. Thank God she wasn't looking very much shocked though. God she's so strong.

"How you feeling?" I asked, on which she shrugged. "kind of the same." I nodded, a bit disappointed, hoping that one day, she'll wake up and have all her memories back.

"So tell me," she looked at me, expecting an answer as she kept on staring at me.

"Tell you what?" I asked while letting out a shy chuckle, it's like talking to her for the first time all over again. But at the same time, it's different.

"Did you kiss me first or did I? You know, things like that", I looked her in the eye with wide open eyes because of the direct question. She let out a small giggle, from seeing the expression on my face.

"I wasn't sure at first. Because you look so..."

"different" I said, letting out another chuckle, as she was searching for a good word to use, one that wasn't offensive or I couldn't take offensive in any kind of way.

"I'm sorry..." She was smiling now as well, while blushingly leaving my gaze.

"No it's ok. It's true, I'm different." Gwen's face lit up with a small smile on her face, as she looked down at Apollo again while she kept on playing with his hair.

"So yesterday, Jen bought me a new phone. On which I googled my own name,  you know, to see what I did the last four years," she said while her eyes locked with mine, as she laughed a little while shaking her head. Probably not believing her life. "And wikipedia told me that in 2015 I started dating a country guy, named Blake Shelton." I just nodded while making an agreeing sound.

"The paparazzi seemed to stalk us quiet often", I chuckled as she laughed.

"They did, a lot." I said, emphasising on the 'a lot', with a country drawl, which made her let out an adorable chuckle. Quickly I started searching for my phone as I stood up and took a step closer to her. Reaching my arm out with my phone in my hand, to show her my lockscreen photo.

Ever since Gwen changed my lockscreen to a photo of the two us, having a picnic on my ranch, it had stayed like that. She was wearing her hair in a high dot, wearing barely any make up, as her arms were thrown around my neck and her lips were pressed on my cheek. We were sitting on a picnic blanket as my arm was stretched out to take a selfie of the both of us.

"You really liked this picture, thought my hair-"

"-looks cute on it." she adds, as she took my phone out of my hand to get a better look of the picture. "I looked so happy and good on all those pictures with you..."

"You always look good", I decided to say, as I saw her gaze up at my phone, blushing again. After staring at the picture for over ten seconds, she threw me another glance.

"The way you're looking at me right now... with so much love." Her voice got stocked as she bit on her bottom lip. 'I'm so sorry this happened, this must be so hard for you." Hard on me? She's the one who has no clue what she did the last four years and she says things must be hard for me? For me? The crack in her voice broke my heart as out of reflex I reached for her hand, to comfort her. The warmth of my hand seemed to surprise her a little, which made me pull it away as I placed my hand on her bed now.

"Don't worry. We'll figure it out, with or without memories", slowly she moved her hand closer to mine, letting our finger tips meat one another.

"I don't feel like I'm ready to commit to someone anytime soon." Honesty. The thing that made me fall for her in the first place.

"I don't mind, I'm patient. It wasn't that easy to conquer you once, so I'm not expecting it to be now. I fought for you once and I'll do it again." The moment got interrupted by Apollo who started to wipe his eyes as he moved to sit up on the bed.

When his eyes snapped open and saw his mommy's face, his adorable giggles returned as his chubby arms wrapped around her neck to give her a kiss. Gwen wasn't totally comfortable about the whole thing just yet, but the sparkle in her eyes when she heard her baby's giggle told me it will be ok eventually. I let out a chuckle, which made Apollo turn his head my way as his face lighted up even more.

"Blakey!" Apollo was reaching his chubby arms towards me now, asking to pick him up in my arms. Obviously I hesitated as I looked at Gwen for permission. "Go ahead", she said while rubbing her hand over her baby's back. My strong arms grabbed Apollo up and gave him kisses all over his face. Making him burst out in laughter as I tickled his tiny feet. Gwen was watching both of us interact the entire time, never taking her eyes off of us. Smiling along, every time Apollo cried out giggling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if I should go on with this story!!


	4. this is what the truth feels like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting her second family!

"So I have a surprise for you", I said to Gwen who was complaining yesterday about being bored in this hospital. Tomorrow she was allowed to go home again, after being awake in the hospital for a week. I had come to visit her every day, ever since I woke up in that chair next to her bed. Most of the time only for half an hour though, as I didn't want to push her into anything at all. Which she seemed to respect a lot, considering she became less and less tensed around me, with every day I showed up. Probably realising that I tried my hardest to not put any pressure on her.

"You do?" She said as her dull look in her eyes changed into an energized one. Smiling with her teeth bright, her amazing grin that I missed so much. Seeing her enthusiastic again, made me put my dimples out as I nodded my head. I pulled out my phone with my earpods, on which she gave me a small smile, while staring at me questionable with her head laying on her shoulder.

"March 18, 2016 was a very, very memorable and important day in human history", I spoke to her, as I kept on walking closer to her, her grin never disappearing her face. Waiting for me to go on. As I didn't went on fast enough to her judgement, she giggled.

"I bet it was a day to remember, " she joked, trying to make me laugh as I chuckled out loud while clapping my hands with her joke. "One to never forget", I added as she pushed my arm playfully. It's then that I handed her my phone, which she took gladly along with my earpods.

"Considering you told me you were bored as hell in here yesterday, I decided you could use some music to listen to. But considering we can't play it out loud here, to not disturb any other patients, I brought my earpods as well." Actually it were hers, as she always forgot them or lost them somewhere in my house, for me to find them eventually somewhere. Well me, I always listen with headphones. I saw her gaze up at my phone, with a surprised look on her face as she was probably reading her own name on my screen, as I had already putted her latest album ready.

"And what better than to listen to the queen of ska, pop and rock and roll all at the same time?" Again, that shy blush as she shook her head out of disbelief and modesty. It threw me back to when she was my advisor at the voice season ten, at how I kept throwing her complements and she shook her head, not believing how I believed every word I said to her.

"This is what the truth feels like", she read out loud, while she kept on staring at the album cover with a sad, confused look in her eyes.

"Hey, hey", I said, trying to get her attention, which worked as her head turned towards me.

"You don't have to listen to it. There's also a playlist of Fleetwood Mac songs on there, if you want to hear something you know"

"I love Fleetwood Mac!" She cried out amazed, while her little sparkle appeared again in her eyes. "Which you probably already knew", she added, still smiling when the realisation hit her while I just simply smiled.

"I want to give it a try though..." Gwen mumbled as she plugged the earpods in my phone and put one in her ear. I felt content, that she was opening herself up a little more every day. Nevertheless I was turning around, to give her some privacy and leave her room as I heard her talk to me.

"Wait, you not staying? You're not listening with me?" In one quick movement, I turned around towards her, as I saw her reaching out her hand with her second earpod in it. Barely giving me a chance to leave any longer, not that I wanted to. So I walked up closer towards her and took the earpod, as she shoved herself to one side of her bed, indicating that it was ok for me to sit next to her. Which I did. When I was settled next to her, my arm touching hers and my right feet almost touching her left one, she put play on the very first song on the album, which was Misery.

When she heard her voice for the first time on the record, she pulled her eyebrows up a little, out of surprise. Gotta tell, I would be freaking out to hear a song with my own voice if I couldn't remember every recording it as well.

"By the way, you wrote every single song on this album yourself, it's crazy. It was your third single of that album. And the music clip was hella hot- I mean cute" she looked up at me with a frowning look as I doubted my word use. "-adorable, or well interesting", I rambled eventually when she started laughing out loud. "You're cute", she flapped out, even surprising herself as she started blushing the moment she realised what she had said.

"You had so many costume changes in that clip, it even amazed me, for re-"

"Shh" she interrupted me while shaking her head. "I want to hear the lyrics, and you're distracting me", it didn't take long before she bursted out in laughter, realising at how she literally just hushed me. "Oh god, I'm sorry", she said in between her giggles.

"Well, I already know every part from beginning to end, so excuse me miss"

After that we kept quiet until "You're my favorite" came up, on which she started moving along with the rhythm of the song. The moment "Out of everything, you're my favorite" came up, I saw out of the corner of my eye her head turn my way as her eyes looked at my face. Probably wondering whether this song would be about me. I decided to give her some time to think about it, as I ignored her eyes burning on me.

"Where would I be" went the exact same way, as she from time to time looked up at me. Me returning her stare one time, which made her look away shyly, which made me chuckle out loud again. But the moment "Make Me Like You" started, the awkward, uncertain atmosphere changed. She chuckled at her own lyrics, as she said she really liked the melody of that song. Immediately I remembered how proud she was of the melody back in the day, when she let me hear the song for the first time. It's so weird it's the other way around now. When I told her that was her second single, she giggled even more.

"Oh God, I must've really missed you when I wrote this", she said once she heard the 'now you got me missing you' part for the fifth time, which made me smirk proudly. The moment in the song she started to thank God that she found me, did leave us both a bit astonished.

"Truth" got her listening very carefully and intensive, as she stayed serious throughout the entire song, even at the rebound part. She became even more serious when the first strophe of  "Used To Love You" passed by. Her silence in both her movements and words, made me search for her brown eyes, which lightly started to fill with tears. I know she was holding back though, especially when the song started about her crying for real. Her swallowing started to increase as it was my time now to move my hand on the mattress closer to hers, touching her finger tops with mine. To my big surprise, her hand grasped mine in a quick movement, entwining her fingers with mine. Stroking my thumb over her index finger from time to time, the only way to comfort her. We didn't need any words. As the intro of "Send Me A Picture" began, she didn't pull her hand away. But I wanted to crack up the mood so I decided to make a funny comment.

"God this song is about how you literally stalked my ass off", I said while rolling my eyes at her playfully, she started laughing out loud while shaking her head. She started listening to the lyrics which made her burst out in laughter when she heard the refrain.

"I'm gonna be honest though, it's actually about me stalking you to send me pictures." I admitted when the song came to its end, which made her give me a playful push. "You're mean, Blake Shelton!" As we were both laughing, we heard the door crack as it slowly opened up.

The moment I saw both Pharrell and Adam their heads pop out, I felt Gwen releasing my hand within a second, as we both simply looked at our friends.

"Hi", Pharrell said as he gave me a regretful look, as he noticed he kind of interrupted a moment. Adam on the other hand wasn't that thoughtful as he nonchalantly stumbled in with a soft, sweet smile on his face.

"Pharrell!" Gwen shouted as she literally jumped out of bed and running to him. As she reached him, she threw her arms around his neck as he held her tight while rocking her back and forth. "I'm so happy to see you", she said, as if she hadn't seen him for an entire year. Which might've been true in her mind, considering they always were good friends, but only saw each other on special occasions. The voice changed that though, as their friendship became stronger and closer than ever. Which she sadly doesn't remember as well. Talking about not remembering, Adam was standing awkwardly behind them. After Gwen let go of Pharrell, she looked up at Adam with her adorable, little smile.

"You want a hug as well?", she asked Adam with her soft, caring voice. He just kept on staring at her like a fool while shrugging as he kept on smiling a bit awkwardly. Luckily Gwen was surprisingly good at handling all of this, as she giggled out loud at his awkwardness. So she took the initiative to step closer towards him and gave him a quick hug which he happily returned.

"You must be Adam" He nodded his head.

"You must be Gwen, nice to meet you", Adam replied while putting out his hand to shake hers. Knowing out of experience from over the last years that that would make her laugh, which it did.

"And the idiot is here as well"

I walked up to Adam, while Gwen looked a bit startled while looking over at the both of us. I heard her ask at Pharrell whether we're always like that, on which Pharrell had answered with a "Pretty much".

"Hi buddy", I said as Adam wrapped his arms around me and patted me on the back a few times.

"I missed you", he said effortless with his huge grin. "I missed you, too"

Pharrell and Gwen had been talking non-stop, about who knows what. I gave up trying to follow a long time ago, as they talked about all kinds of memories and people that both Adam and I didn't know. But even though I stopped listening, I never took my gaze off of her, as I saw her face relax for the first time since she woke up without her memories a week ago. Cheering up by talking to one of her best friends now and then. It seemed as if she forgot about all her worries for just a few minutes by talking to Pharrell. Thank God for that. Her forehead lost that wrinkle of confusion and her smile became extremely genuine as she smiled with her teeth bright every time Pharrell was telling an anecdote about God knows what. I loved staring at Gwen in moments like this, worriless and happy. Especially after a week like this. But then I felt Adam tap me on my shoulders and whispered whether I would want to go to grab a coffee with him in the hospital cafeteria. On which I agreed, while out of reflex I dropped my hand on Gwen's shoulder, to get her attention.

She looked up at me as I said that Adam and I were going to go grab a coffee.

"You coming back?" She had asked me while I nodded my head. "If you want me to." It was her time to nod now, which made us both smile at each other briefly. She quickly returned to her conversation with Pharrell, who talked about the old years with her, leaving out his massive breakthrough in even Europe with his album G I R L, his marriage that happened in 2013 and the collaboration of the two of them Spark The Fire and Shine. Just letting her enjoy the happy times instead of trying to make her remember. Which most people had been doing when they visited her for the first time, showing pictures, sharing memories, playing her videos etc. Those people only seem to care about themselves, about how they feel, about how they want/need her to remember. Instead of thinking about how confusing it all is for her, about how hard it is for her to be confronted by all her lost memories. So I love Pharrell for thinking about her and her health instead of his own.  

I was walking in silence throughout the hallway, with Adam by my side. We hadn't said a word to each other until we reached the cafeteria and had sat ourselves down at a table.

"God Blake..." He broke the silence. "Gwen she-- it's so weird" I simply nodded, knowing what he was talking about.

"She wasn't even happy to see me," I rolled my eyes at his comment as I chuckled. "My girlfriend doesn't remember me and yet you feel bad because she wasn't happy to see you?"

Adam burst out in laughter as I laughed along with him. "I know! I'm such an egoist! But she's Gwen! I love Gwen! And I want to talk to her and hug her and ugh"

"I know buddy, I know", I responded to his pouting. "I'm trying not to think about it too much. I'm just glad she's still here, you know?" Out of the corner of my eye I saw Adam nodding to let me know he agreed.

"How have you been holding up though?" Adam became all serious all of a sudden, as he sipped at his coffee. His question was a loaded one to be honest. Because if I think about it, over the last week, I haven't really thought about myself. I didn't think I have the right too. Because no matter how bad I would feel for myself, it will always be harder for Gwen at the end. So I decided to be there for Gwen, to not think about what I felt or how unfair all of this was. Just when I found the love of my life, God decided to take her away from me. Not physically, but mentally. Like how cruel is that? Who would do something like that? So I let out a huge sight while I kept on staring at my coffee. 

"I miss her. I mean, I talk to her and my world lights up. But then after half an hour of being with her, I feel the need to leave. To not put any pressure on her. So I go sit in the waiting room and practically spend the entire night there, becausing going home without her is even worse. And I'm stressed out, Adam..." I rambled. "Because what if things don't work out?" 

"You guys are meant to be together, for real!" He cried out trying to convince me desperately as he put his hand on my arm. "So relax. Be yourself. Let her get used to all of it. She doesn't need her memories to like you, Blake. If someone can make her fall in love twice, then it's you."I smiled up at him gratefully. 

"She's holding up so great and handling all the confusion so well... I'm glad. Don't get me wrong. But I have a feeling that one day she's going to crash down as it hits her hard."

He patted me on the back as he remembered me to think positive and started talking about Behati and her pregnancy afterwards, to distract ourselves. Even though I was feeling better already after our little talk. And soon we had stayed down there for over an hour, as we decided to head back towards her room.

When we reached her room, Pharrell and Adam started to pack their things together and both kissed Gwen on the cheek. As she thanked both of them for coming over and grasping Adam's hand when he started walking away from her, to tell him she really appreciated it.

Just when I was about to gather my coat as well and say my goodbye, she had a disappointed look in her eyes.

"Aren't you staying to listen to some more songs with me?"

Without hesitating, I placed myself next to her on her bed again. "Sure".

We started with Asking 4 it, I gave her a short explanation about how she worked with Fetty Wap because her kids love him so much.  Followed by the anecdote of Kingston screaming that now his mom was the coolest on earth and he would tell all his friends. As if she weren't cool at all before, as if he didn't knew before that his mom is the Gwen Stefani, which made her be shocked for a few days. The anecdote did his work as she laughed while throwing her head back.

Naughty got us both feeling very, very awkward, as I remembered our hot times, as she had no clue of what they were like. So I quickly pressed to the next song right after the first "you've been naughty" lyric sounded through our earpods. I told her she should listen to it some other time, whe, I wasn't sitting next to her, considering it was awkward for both her and me in this position. She agreed happily while holding back a huge laugh.

The moment Rare came up, I pretended to scream like a high school girl, as I told her this was my absolute favorite song ever. Along with Hella Good.  "I wonder who this song is about", she said eventually while giving me an adorable smile. I kept on looking at her, when she was trying her hardest to concentrate on the lyrics of the song. "It's so crazy how I wrote this and I don't remember anything of it." She shared her thoughts with me. "Does it scare you?" She didn't even have to think about it, as she was nodding convincingly, avoiding my eyes. 

"I would be scared as well." She looked at me amazed, as if she didn't expected my answer. All of a sudden I remember a conversation we had over a year ago. Of how she told me that she wasn't used to man showing her their weaknesses, not showing much emotions and vulnerabilty. I even remember better that only a few months ago, she admited that my vulnerabilty was something that attracted her to me. 

Suddenly we heard a knock on the door and saw it open. A doctor came in the room, to do a check up, which was my cue to go. I threw my legs off the bed and stood up in a matter of seconds, giving my earpod back to Gwen.

"You keep it for today, listen to the rest of the songs", I said talking about my phone.

"How you gonna get it back then?" she asked carefully.

"I guess I'll have to come over and get it someday," I said, trying to sound nonchalant while heading towards the door.

"You know where I live", she said, practically inviting me to her home for the first time in her eyes as tomorrow she's released from the hospital.

"yeah"

"Thank you for today" I heard her say right after I had turned around to the door. I grinned at the door and kept a bit more serious face as I turned toward her again. Trying not to make a big deal out of it to her. Knowing it will cause her to stress. 

"It was my pleasure."

I opened the door and walked outside. And just when I was about to close it again, I poked my head out of the door, to meet Gwen's chocolate brown eyes one last time.

"Listen very well to number 15. It's the first one you wrote about this ruggedly handsome cowboy", I said bravely talking about "Obsessed" while giving her a small wink. And after that I closed the door, just before I saw Gwen let out a smile while rolling her eyes. God I miss her already. How badly I wanted her to lay in my arms and fall asleep with her hand resting on my chest. One of her legs thrown over mine. But that wasn't or now yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank yall for your comments, they inspire me to go write on so quickly! So let me know if you still like it! :)


	5. fruity shampoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this one today for Kat, to crack you up after your surgery!   
> Enjoy everyone xo

As Todd called me to let me know that Gwen asked for me the following morning in the hospital, my heart had jumped a beat. She had asked whether he knew if I was still coming over at the hospital before she was released. So Todd only had to say the words once, or I had already placed myself in my car and was driving in the direction of the hospital.

I had arrived the hospital around an hour before she got released, under an excuse that I had to go to an early interview that morning and was on my way home when I was in the neighbourhood. I know I didn't need an excuse and that it wasn't a good one, but nevertheless I didn't want her to feel suffocated by me and my presence.

She was trying to pack her stuff together when her dad started to take things over from her and made her sit down. Which left her roll with her eyes, yet keeping her mouth shut as she sat down anyway.

"You sure you're ready to go home, already, right?" Dennis had asked her a million times today, that even it began to drive me crazy. Let along what it must be like for her. But as polite she is, she kept on nodding her head.

"Yeah dad, those four walls around me are driving me crazy." Dennis nodded again, pretending he heard her answer, even though he actually wanted to hear something else. A slightly bit of doubt in her voice would've been enough to try to let her stay there.

"Maybe you should come live with your mom and I for the first few weeks", Gwen started coughing, as she choked in the water she was drinking. Her reaction made Dennis look up at her, all worried as always, while Gwen started at her dad while frowning big time. Soon she tried to change her expression on her face into a less shocked one into a thanks-but-no-thanks one.

"Dad, that's so sweet but that's ok, really-"

"Gwen, honey, we don't want you to be alone", Dennis had added. Both of us knew he meant it all very well, but all the overprotective stuff isn't what she needed either. When her dad's words hit her, she focused her eyes on mine for a moment as I was leaning against one of the walls. Not interrupting her conversation with her dad, but following it anyway.

"I'll be fine on my own, daddy. I think it might be good for me, you know? Getting used to the situation I lived in before all of this happened. Who knows, maybe it will get me back some of my memories. She said hopeful, right before she locked her eyes mine again. "Besides, I won't be alone." She said, as she changed her gaze back to her dads midsentence. But afterwards, she smiled a bit insecure at me to indicate she was indeed talking about me, which made me give her a small smile to show her my support. To let her know that I do know her well enough to realise she was starting to get annoyed. But that I also know about the enormous amount of respect that she owns for her parents.

 I heard Dennis let out an amused sight as he saw the both of us exchange looks and smiles. Leaving her alone for a good half hour. Until we were all in the hallway, waiting for the release paper to sign. I was busy on my phone answering Adam about whether there was any evolution.

"I'll bring you home, Gwen", I heard Dennis say, not even bothering to ask her. On which I heard her sweet voice reply that she lived the other way of the city, so that they really shouldn't bother. But her father kept on insisting, which I knew was driving her crazy. Especially after the week that she had with both her parents. Totally coddling and spoiling her ever since she woke up. Barely leaving her a minute alone, even.

"Blake will drive me", hearing my name made me look up from my phone. "He'll drive me home, right?" She directed her question to me now, which made me nod my head convincingly. Leaving Dennis in no situation to keep on insisting. Within a matter of seconds, the release paper had arrived and had been signed and the three of us were walking out of the hospital in no time.

"You really don't mind bringing me, do you?" I shook my head for the hundredth time as I told her I didn't. "I just, my parents--"

"They drive you nuts, I get it." I winked at her, to make her remember how well I know her again. Which made her smile as I opened the car door, for her to get in.

\-----

As in the car drive home, I had seen Gwen's eye lids close from time to time, I realised that the pain killers she's taking -still for the surgeries from a month ago- must tire her. So when I arrived at her place, she was fast asleep. God knows I would normally just pick her up and carry her inside. But for now, I just had to wake her up. Not before I stared at her for a few more minutes, as her head was leaning against the car door and she slowly changed from facial expressions from time to time. I had to wake her up though, considering I didn't want her to have any back aches from sleeping in a bad position for too long, so I lightly stroked her hair out of her face. And as if on cue, the touch from my hand on her face, made her eyes start to blink.

"You're home, beautiful. Time to wake up." She blinked a few more times as she automatically started to stretch her arms a little bit. The following moment I left my car to open her door. And out of habit, I go to the trunk to pick up her back and carried it inside. I only realised that I actually walked with her in her house, when I was already standing there. Luckily she didn't seem to mind at all, as she probably was too tired to even truly think about it. So a little star struck from my very personal invitation in her house, left me standing in the door frame of her living room, where I dropped her back as well.

"What do you want to eat later today?" I asked, when I realised she probably wouldn't have any kind of food in her house. Or it would no longer be eatable. As she had just sat down on the couch, she gave me a bit confused and scared look at the same time.

"Oh yeah, no! No worries, I'm not staying -or eating- here. I will just go the supermarket to get you something, because you still have to rest." When I saw her opening her mouth, I knew it was to argue me and say that that wasn't necessary, so I didn't let her.

"No matter what you say, I'll go get you something anyway. So don't even mind", her soft, genuine smile was there again, as she shrugged.

"You choose for me"

Oh ok, I see, she's trying to test me. So I just nodded at her as I grabbed my keys and went to the market to buy her favourite vegetarian lasagne.

It took me a half hour before I returned to her place. As I entered her house, I was greeted by my very own voice speaking from the living room. Which made me step up towards her, leaving the lasagne in the fridge, to find her still in the couch, watching an interview of me from on Ellen. At first, I was amused that she was watching that video, but soon got worried about all of the new things and the feelings that might become too much for her.

"You missed me already, hah?" I said, as I crouched down beside her on the couch to watch along with the video. To my big surprise, she was teasingly nodding and going along with my comment.

"Why you watching that, though?" I ended up asking eventually, as she didn't let her eyes wander off the screen, not even for a second. I gave her some time to reply, as she didn't know why in the first seconds.

"Because maybe if I watch all of these, my brain will start to remember things. I want to remember you, the boyfriend you", she pouted, as she avoided my gaze and kept on staring at her phone. Which made me act bold as I moved my hand to lightly touch her neck and move her face towards me. Thanks to that, she had to take her eyes off of her screen and let her gaze move over from my arm reaching out to her and then lock eyes with me.

"I'm here. If you want to ask me to tell you about something, then I'm here. But those interviews, you shouldn't watch them, it seems even more surreal then. Plus it will be too much information all at once. Take it slow, give it some time." I only took away my hand from her neck, the moment I ended my speech. Gwen followed my hand until the moment I placed it on my own knee again. After that, she stared back at her phone and locked it.

"Fine", she sighted. "I already have seen five anyway." I started chuckling while shaking my head.

"By the way, nothing's wrong with my eye sight Blake. Nothing at all",

At first I was left a bit confused, not because I didn't understand what she was talking about, but because she had said the exact same thing to me the first time she saw the interview of me on Seth Meyers. In that interview I joked that I thought something must be wrong with Gwen her eyesight to like me. And the day that interview was released, Gwen had said to me that exact same sentence.

"Your eyesight might've been perfect four years ago, doesn't mean it still is now." Her mouth dropped open as she acted all offended and hurt with my joke about her memory loss, while her eyes betrayed her.

"You're an idiot, Blake!" She said as she picked up the cushion from behind her and threw it at me. Making me grin up at her while shaking my head in disbelief how the gorgeous woman in front of me. "You're acting all modest on television, while deep inside you know your dimples are irresistible!"

I started clapping in my hands as I chuckled. "Whoa! Gwen Stefani, are you flirting with me?"

She laughed along, as I threw the cushion back to her, so she could put it behind her again. Not wanting her to be uncomfortable.

As the seriousness had returned and both of us were sitting at the other sides of the couch, facing each other, I asked her whether she wanted to know anything about us, our her life or mine or anything really.

"Not anything specific... But I really want to hear the song you were talking about with Ellen, that you started to write to try and impress me"

"Go Ahead and Break My Heart." I said, as she nodded. Which made me pick out my phone and go to my youtube channel to find the video of the both of us performing that song on the voice. I shoved closer towards Gwen, as she did the same. Before I pressed play, I remembered the night we sang that song and how we watched if afterwards together as well. Sitting both a bit awkwardly, being confronted by how lovesick teenagers we were while singing it.

So the moment I pressed play now until the very last note was song, was even more awkward than the first time we watched it together.

As in the song Gwen commented with her typical 'O my God's' and 'That's like so weird'. And then I heard her use it for the first time:

"God Blake, that song... it's magical!" I snapped my head up by hearing her say it, which made her turn her head as well, realising my sudden quick movement.

"You ok?" I nodded while returning back to earth. "Yeah, fine. Just that word."

"Yeah, I know it's weird. I never use that word, ever!" Which made the both of us laugh, for different reasons though. 'Cause she seriously has no clue about how much she has used it over the last year. When the song almost came to its end, we were sitting so close to each other, her head practically resting on my chest, considering we both had to watch on a small screen. Giving me the ability to smell her fruity shampoo again and to feel her soft arm lean against my chest, as my arm was thrown over the couch.

"I'm glad we're home", Gwen said, not even seeming to realising she used the 'we' form, as she now fully rested her head on my chest. Just relaxing a little bit. 

I know that in a few minutes, it was time for me to leave my home, my world, and head back to my LA rental, but God, how badly I missed this. That I miss us. It's crazy...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate y'all comments so much, I truly do! I love to know whether yall still enjoy reading this. xo


	6. Edelweiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I stared into his ocean blue eyes and I finally got it. I finally get what I saw in him before that car robbed my memories away..."

"Sing something for me", I said to Blake who was lightly strumming on his guitar a melody I didn't recognize.  Both of us were sitting in front of the fire place, as I stopped by his place for the first time. Well, the first time since the accident, I mean. Shyly he had picked his eyes up from his guitar to look in my direction. To catch a glimpse on whether I was serious or not. And when he found a determined look on my face, he shook his head while chuckling insecure.

"You serious?" He was frowning his brows, an expression on his face that I have seen quite a lot every time he gets nervous around me. For some reason, it makes me smile every time he gets like this, all bashful and adorable. Eventually I ended up nodding, while he stared at me for a few seconds.

"One of my own or-?"

"Whatever you want", his expression changed into  a thoughtful one now, as his frowning increased and he unconsciously bit his lip. Ever since the day I accepted that things are what they are and I decided to give Blake a chance, I felt like I was observing him the entire time. How his expressions change the entire time depending on what the conversation is about, how he swings unknowing and uncontrollably to the background music whenever he hears a song he likes. Or right now in how he always bites his lip when he's thinking about a sudden action. I can go on all day long.

A little lost in my thoughts, I saw Blake looking back at me, when I suddenly realised I was staring at him. And he realised as well, as I saw him smirk while I lightly blushed.

"I'm waiting, cowboy", I said the 'cowboy' without thinking about it that much, but it left Blake surprised, considering his enormous smirk from earlier turned into a simple, content smile. After a few seconds, he seemed to just shake it off as he started to play a fun, typical country tune. I had placed myself in crossed-leg position, on his carpet right in front of the fire place, enjoying his guitar skills.

The moment he started singing and his voice reached my ears, I realised I had only heard it on the video we watched together of Go Ahead and Break my heart. I had no idea of how a soothing, soft voice he has, one that makes you feel home and safe. I was enjoying the song so much as he rocked slightly back and forth while playing the guitar, until one specific moment of the song came.

"I ain't just flirting, I'm certain, I'm working on  a long term plan, I'm gonna be your man. Gonna put a little rock steady on your hand."

Suddenly I got a feeling I had heard it before, as if I had seen him singing the song before. Those words and the smirk that came along with it... it all felt so familiar. And somehow, I thought about The Voice. I don't know what made my brain do it, make that connection, but it did anyway. As the song ended and we were both just smiling at each other, I decided not to bother him with my sudden confusion. It's probably nothing anyway.

"Blake, I love your voice so much!" I said as soon as my speechless moment had ended. After my comment he was grinning proudly, which made my heart jump up.

 

I had forgotten about my confusion already, until Blake had asked me if I wanted to know why he choose that particular song and I had nodded enthusiastically.

"It's a song I recorded back in 2014, so before I even knew you. And the song really didn't mean that much to me when I dropped it as a single. I just figured it as a catchy song, a song I knew people would love, you know? But one day, you told me how much you loved the song and how much it reminded you of our story. So in the next live show, I sang it to you on the voice."

I had been listening to his story quietly but I jumped up at his last words. Did he just say that he sang it to me? On the voice? Did he seriously just mentioned the voice?

"You ok?" I saw him putting down his guitar as soon as possible as he crouched down beside me, with a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah-yeah I'm fine", I said as soon as I realised I must've looked a bit confounded and startled. "I just, I had been wondering if it would've been about us, that's all." I lied, as much as I hated to do that to this honest, sweet man in front of me. But I really didn't want to get his hopes up about the fact that I might have remembered something small. I don't even know if it was a memory or just a familiar feeling. So I shut myself up, to not mess with his feelings, or with mine in that matter.

"I'm fine, really." I reassured him, as he kept his eyes locked on mine doubtfully, not believing my words. To emphasise my words, I reached one of my hands out to his face and slightly stroke his scruff, which seemed to calm him down.  His smile grew as I kept my hand put a few seconds too long, as I got lost in his eyes.

\-----

"So it's about a nun named Maria who actually really is not good at being a nun. So she was send to the Von Trapp family with seven kids where she has to be the new governess. And it's such an adorable movie, but also reflects the problems between Austria and Germany back in the day. Oh and the songs they are so amazing!" I explained while walking up to my dvd-player and putting the disk in it, and closing it again. When I started walking back towards the couch on which Blake was already sitting, I saw him beam up at me.

"What's so funny?" I said while punching him playfully. "Nothing, truly, I just love how excited you get. It's cute." I rolled my eyes at him, trying to hold back my blush, knowing I'd fail anyway. I had also seen his arm being thrown around the back of the couch, inviting me to sit close to him, without many words. Which I did.

"You seriously haven't seen this movie yet?" I asked, still not believing how someone could never have seen this classic. It's a must see movie, for real. But the fact that he hadn't seen it out of himself surprised me less than that I hadn't made him watch it before. I'm obsessed with it, so badly. He shook his head, while I pushed play on the movie.

No matter how many times I've seen this movie, I will always be as interested as if I watched it for the first time. With the difference that now, I could also easily sing every lyric to every single song, which left Blake in awe and laughter.

It's until the song 'my favorite things' comes up, that I heard Blake say the following thing:

"Oh there you go. That's your song", and I knew by fact that the moment those words left his mouth, he already regretted it as I saw him wince.

"How do you know?" I asked, knowing that something didn't end up. He was right though, "my favorite things" is my favorite song from the movie, but how could he have known that that song was about to come if he hadn't seen it yet? He gave me a guilty look, as he didn't even try to talk himself out of it. So I opened my mouth in shock, even though I also was pretty much amused I caught him on this.

"We already watched this movie, didn't we?"

"Well..." He made a movement of his hands, indicating we did partly. "We watched it already, but I got kinda distracted by the beautiful girl that was -or well is- sitting next to me." I burst out in laughter, to see how he was trying to talk himself out of it. I shook my head while I leaned in to him and gave him a small, grateful hug by placing my arm around his chest. Considering I knew he said that he hadn't seen the movie, just to spend time with me. He returned the hug as I felt his hand on my back, pulling me even closer to him. Smelling his scent and feeling the softness of his warm flannel again my cheek as we watched the movie further like that.

When Edelweiss began playing I started to get all excited.

"That's your song!" I had said as I hit him a few times out of excitement. But as I saw him not taking over my excitement, but instead he looked at me with wide open eyes and a confused expression on his face,  I got a bit worried.

"Something's wrong?" He shook his head as he turned around slightly, facing me.

"How did you know I love this song?" It's then that it hit me as well, how in hell did I know? Now it was my turn to get confused while sitting up a bit more straight to face him as well.

"I don't know, you must've told me, right?" Hesitantly I saw Blake nod, even though his expression told me he did not. Anyway, he throw his arm around my waist again, to pull me closer and ignore what happened. Figuring it was the best for both of us. Which to be honest I was glad about, considering I was a bit frightened that he would get his hopes up too much. So it was comforting to know that both of us knew that it was a small memory from before the accident, but yet both of us didn't dare to make a big deal out of it. Not forcing anything. Me as well buried my face in his chest, somehow needing the warmth of his body on me. Needing him close to me, needing the physical contact.

"Do you remember anything else from my love for this song?" He asked eventually though, when the song came to its end, but not in a pressure kind of way, more in an interested one.

"That you never saw the movie, but somehow always knew the song. That's all I know." This time I didn't leave anything out, which made me feel lighter somehow.

"I told you that almost two years ago." He said calmly. "In season seven, your first season on the voice, I kept on singing that song when you walked by backstage, to tease you", I smiled at his last remark as he also let out a chuckle.

"God I loved that season and hated it so much when it ended", he admitted which made me raise my head up from his chest to look at him. "How come?"

"You weren't coming back for season eight, because Christina Aguilera came back", he explained as I smiled at how he also mentioned Christina's last name, to make sure I know exactly who he was talking about. I love how thoughtful he is about things like that.

"and I was so sad because I didn't know if you were going to come back for season nine. Which luckily you did."

I love how honest he always gets, how sweet he is and how he has no trouble with showing his feelings. I'm not used to it, no man ever showed his feelings like that before. But Blake... he's special, different.

 

I stared into his ocean blue eyes and I finally got it. I finally get what I saw in him before that car robbed my memories away...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope u all are still into this story!!


	7. Lonely Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We don't have to be lonely tonight.... need you.... want you.... I'm right here"

It had been a week since I had heard from Gwen, when suddenly her name popped up on my screen, asking me whether I wanted to come over tonight and just hang out a bit. As I had been dying the entire week from not hearing a word from her, I obviously got excited and answered her I sure as hell wanted to hang out. I knew she had the boys last entire week, so I figured that she already had enough on her mind, so I didn't put any pressure on her in any kind of way. So I hadn't texted her anything either, with lot of pain in my heart.

But now, we were both standing in the kitchen, preparing ourselves a dinner, as I told her I would cook her my favourite dish. Well actually it's the dish I had introduced her to and she loved a lot. So it basically was her favourite dish, she just doesn't remember. It's nothing difficult really, just a cold pasta with tons of vegetables and tuna. Even though I had told her she could go sit down in the couch and relax, she kept herself busy in the kitchen as well, as she helped me cut some of the vegetables. When I came back in the middle of the preparation from when I had to excuse myself to head to the bathroom, I heard her hum a familiar tune. A very familiar tune, I must say. So I kept on standing in the doorframe of the kitchen, as I was looking at her back swaying a little to her own humming. The moment I had heard the tune, I had recognized it immediately as I started singing the words to it inside my head. She was humming one of my songs, called "Lonely Tonight", and I must say I was a little bit surprised. Because she knows that song? Does that mean she listened to my music in the last week?

"So..." I spoke up eventually as I strolled up closer towards her. "...I love the song your humming, darling", I said as I slightly cursed at the pet name that flapped out. But luckily her smile only increased as it left my mouth, while she kept on cutting some tomatoes.

"So when I'm not here, you secretly listen to my music?" I asked teasingly while I moved my body closer towards her as she giggled adorably shy.

"I did. Well, I downloaded 'If I'm honest' and can't stop listening to it", she admitted trying to sound nonchalant as she kept avoiding my gaze. Al though I saw her cheeks lightly turn red as I got distracted by her beautiful smile and her bright red lipstick on top of it. It took me quite some time, lost in her beauty, before the realisation hit me.

"Only If I'm honest?" I asked surprised and maybe a bit abrupt, as she moved her head up towards me, looking as surprised as I am. But in contrary with me, she didn't look confused, but instead amused.

"Well, I'm sorry cowboy, I got so into that album, I haven't had the time to listen to your other masterpieces." Her voice sounded so genuine and sweet, but also a bit teasingly, as she laughed with my shocked expression. I chuckled as well, with the way she used her voice, in that teasing tone. But obviously I wasn't shocked about her only having listened to one of my albums. God, that was more than enough to make this cowboy happy.  What I truly was shocked about was that she was humming one of my songs that wasn't on the 'If I'm honest' album.

"So you didn't listen to any of my other songs?" I doubtfully asked, which made her let out an amused sight.

"No, why you acting all weird all of a sudden?" She tried her hardest to sound amused and don't let her confusion and maybe even frustration from my question slip through. So she pushed her arm against mine playfully as we were both standing next to each other at the kitchen island. Even though she didn't want to show her frustration and confusion, I obviously knew that it was there. With this knowledge, I started to think twice before sharing my thoughts. Not completely sure whether I should tell her about the song not being on the If I'm Honest album or just ignore it and tell her everything's fine. That nothing's up. As I kept quiet for some time as I reconsidered every single step I was about to make, I saw her eyes meet mine now, with a touch of worry in it. Her soft expression on her face brought me back to earth, as I realised she deserved to know every truth. As I remembered what our relationship was based on in the first place. Honesty.

"The song you were just humming," I started as I turned my body towards her know, facing her. "-that song is not on the If I'm Honest album, so I just got distracted a little." I explained to her.

She just simply shrugged, at first also a bit confused, but soon her smile had returned.

"Well cowboy, don't underestimate yourself. I probably had heard it on the radio already before I knew you or whatever. You're kinda famous as well, you know." I just nodded as I pretended to agree with her, considering she looked so cute as she thought she figured it all out. But I knew better. That song had been released in 2014. So no way in hell she could've heard it four years ago. It's impossible. And considering she had already remember some stuff earlier last week as well, it shouldn't surprise me. As she clearly remembered that I totally love the song Edelweiss and I'm sure that when I had sang her the song Gonna and explained her why I choose that song, she remembered something as well. Even though she told me everything was fine and hadn't included me. I knew from her expressions about how confused she got all of a sudden, that she must've remembered something.

Nevertheless, we went on with cooking as she kept on humming a few songs, mostly old No doubt songs or Fleetwood Mac. And from time to time even some songs from If I'm honest.

 

Around two hours later, when we had finished our diner and I had told her many funny stories about Adam which had both of us almost crying from laugher. I also answered many of her interested questions, as if I always wanted to become a singer, what I wanted to become if music wouldn't work out, story behind my tattoo. You know, stuff like that. But of course she also had asked me whether I had any siblings, on which I told her about Endy and how much of a fan Endy is of Gwen. Gwen had simply blushed by the compliment, as she sipped her wine.

As she had asked me if I have any brothers, I got chocked up. Because before, I had already answered all of those question one year ago, when she asked them as well. But considering everyone on the voice and people that know me as a singer at least a little bit, then they know about Richi. About how a car accident had taken his life away. As Gwen had noticed that I shut down and was searching for my words, I'd felt her hand on mine -that was laying on the table.

"I'm sorry", she had said as her thumb stroked over the back of my hand and her face looked genuinely worried as she given me a small, pitiful smile.

"It has already been 25 years now. A car hit his, and one moment he was there, the other he was gone." I explained as her lovely, brown eyes never left mine.

"How old was he?"

"24", I had swallowed, 'cause even after all those years, it still hasn't become easier to talk about him. Not even a little bit. But Gwen her eyes, locking with mine made talking about it all worth it. God, she has no idea what she does to me.

Right now the both of us had placed ourselves in her couch, as she told me it was my turn to pick whatever we were about to watch.

"So pretty girl", I spoke up as I used another petname, considering she didn't seem to mind -in contrary even- when I did before. "Since you told me you had never seen an episode of season one or two of the voice, and that your brain prevents you from remembering the following eight seasons, I decided to make you watch the first blind audition from my favourite season", I took out my USB-stick as I had put season nine episode one on there. I saw her getting very excited as she smiled bigly.

"It's the show that made my life extraordinary." I said as I winked at her, letting her know that it was not as much the show, but one person on it that I was talking about. She just shook her head at my stupid attempt to flirt with her. The next moment I walked up at her television and plugged the USB in.

\------

I was sitting on the couch, facing Blake as my back was pressed against the arm post. My feet were in his lap, as he a few minutes ago kept on bragging about him giving the best massages in the whole wide world. When of course I kept teasing him as I said I didn't believe him, he wanted to prove himself. Considering I didn't trust my actions -considering somehow I missed him badly last week but yet I still don't want to rush anything- for him to give me a neck massage, I told him I would want a feet massage.

And as the gentleman he is, he told me to get out of my shoes and socks. As he was giving me a feet massage at the moment, he told me stories about how he used to have a naked feet phobia. That whenever he saw them or touched anyone else's naked feet, he would get the shivers and could just as well pass out. I know he was over exaggerating to make me smile, but the way he was using his voice, so enthusiastic and southern, it made be burst out in laughter every time.

I have to admit that I have barely watched any of the blind auditions of the voice, as Blake and I couldn't keep our mouths shut for over ten seconds. As I was still laughing with Blake's feet story, I suddenly heard a familiar voice on the television. I saw it was a contestant who was introducing himself as I snapped my head to the screen.

"I know him", I said suddenly, to even my own surprise, as I pulled my feet away from Blake's lap, to sit up straight.

"What do you mean?" Blake said as he was as surprised by my shocked expression.

"I swear to god, I know him. Is he picking my team?" I asked Blake as after a few seconds, I was him nod. "I don't know why, or how. But I recognize his voice, I'm not kidding"

Blake sat up a little more straight as well, as he looked at me while frowning. "You remember what song he's going to sing?"

Hesitantly, I started thinking hard, trying to remember. "Lay me down?", I said rather in a question right before I saw Blake's eyes widen.

"by Sam Smith, oh my god! It was lay me down!" I jumped up from the couch now, while I couldn't contain myself any longer. I don't know what exactly I had been feeling. I might've felt happy, excited, shocked, confused or anything for that matter. All I know is that I scared myself. I was scared of the memory that just flooded back to me. Scared might be underestimated. Frightened, that's closer to reality.

"Gwen, breathe!" I heard Blake say eventually, as he stood up as well and I felt his hands on my shoulders, calming me down. I hadn't even realised that I started breathing heavily, so I started concentrating on my breathing. As we stood there for over ten seconds, Blake stroke my arms a few times, still trying to relax me. "It's a good thing, Gwen. It's ok"

I nodded at his words as he put one of his arms on the bottom of my back to lead me to the couch again. As both of us sat down, I leaned into him, searching for comfort and warmth.

"Jeffrey, he was your baby, for real. Like you were so proud that you were the only one that turned around for him. That you were the one that made his career." Blake paused as he tightened his arm around me. "You remember how far he got?" I nodded in his chest. "Final four." I said. It kept quiet for a while, before I felt anger built up inside of me. Blake seemed to notice the change of my mood as well, as he moved his head, to face mine. He gave me a questioning look.

"I don't get it!" I said eventually, as I jumped out his embrace again. "I don' get why I remember that guy!" I cried out in disbelief, while hiding my face in my hands. It didn't take long before I felt Blake's hand stroking my back while letting out a small, not understanding chuckle. "But, Gwen, sweety, that's a good thing"

"Yeah, but why him? Why Jeffery? Why can't I just remember someone special! Someone like you?" I rambled, word vomiting all over the place, while I locked eyes with Blake's again. His face was soft as always, pitiful as well. But he seemed to understand me and didn't take me for crazy. Instead he pulled his arms around me and pulled me into his chest, as the both of us ended up laying down on the couch. Hugging one another closer to each other's chest. "I know, it's not fair." He had said, as he kept on stroking circles on my chest, to comfort me. I let myself calm down and inhale his scent.

The rest of the evening was spend in a little more of silence, still laying down on the couch, both facing the screen now. In an almost spooning position.  I heard Blake's chuckle twice -on screen and real life- every time I was fighting one of the other coaches or when Adam was acting silly. From time to time, I giggled as well, but at some point I had to fight my eyelids to stay open. And I don't know which blind audition was the last one I saw, but somewhere I had drifted off to sleep.

In between my dreams, I had felt a body move, as one of my hands no longer felt the warmth of a chest or the beating of a heartbeat. I grunted a little bit because of the movement, yet I was still too fast asleep to open my eyes. Instead I felt a soft blanket being wrapped around my body as soft, familiar hands lightly stroked my body while doing so.

"Good night, Gwen", I heard a southern accent whisper followed by something that woke me up a little bit more. Soft lips were pressed on the top of my head for over a seconds, which gave me shivers all over my body. The moment his lips left my skin, I heard footsteps getting further away from me. "Goodnight, Blake", I mumbled, while keeping my eyes closed, hearing a soft chuckle.

"Drive home safely" I think I mumbled as well, not completely certain considering my tiredness kicked in pretty quickly, even though I felt colder and less comfortable from that moment on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> your comments mean the world, I'm serious! I love them!


	8. old you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...thought I was using you just to get me through..."

"Wow Blake, those sunflowers..." Gwen said astonished as she had just opened the car door and stepped out. "...they are so beautiful" she added in much wonder while walking up closer to the flowers with a content smile.

"So you like them?" Obviously I knew the 46 year old Gwen loved them, but I was glad the 42 year old did as well as she nodded her head a few times while glancing up at me with that soft smile of hers.

When I had grabbed both Gwen and mine luggage out of the car, we headed inside of my ranch. I had told her I had to head back to Tish to take care of some stuff, which made her ask whether she liked it there. So obviously I asked her why she wouldn't find out herself. And that moment let us to here, only three days later.

Even though I knew she used ro be totally in love with my ranch, already since the first time she entered it, I got stressful once again when I opened my front door and let her in.

Slowely she had stepped inside while looking around her with big eyes, which made the beautiful brown color pop up even more.

"Wow Blake..." She mumbled while her eyes wandered off my entire leaving room and soon I followed her into the kitchen. Watching her small figure move so elegantly in her high heels, accompanied by her skinny blue jeans and a black top which made her blue bra easily visible. Damn it woman.

"It's so cosy and homie with all this wood, it makes it feel so warm." Her big smile said it all, as she was still as much in love with this ranch as when I showed her the first "first time". She just stood there, smiling at me with an adoring look. One that made my heart melt, one that I've missed so much.

"Happy you like it."

Following minutes, I lead her to her room, to put her back down. Considering it was 7PM already, we decided to first eat and then settle in. After dinner, she went to her room to settle in a little or fresh up or whatever women do when they get somewhere. So I went back to the kitchen to make the both of us some coffee, when my phone started ringing. I saw Mark's name, the director of the voice, pop up as I shifted back and forth while rolling my eyes.

He had called me a few days earlier already, asking me how Gwen had been holding up. Not wanting to call her personally, considering she does no longer remember him at all. So what began as a friendly, worried call quickly had turned into a business call. As he had asked my opinion about getting Gwen back for season 12 on the voice. I didn't even had to think about it as I told him that that would be a terrible idea. He had said that that was a shame, considering Gwen was one of the best parts of the voice ever. And he realised that now, especially since both season seven and nine won an emmy. We all know who we got to thank that for.

Eventually I picked up my phone to hear Mark's voice greet me, probably asking some more about Gwen and season 12.

"Look Mark, I don't know when she will be ready for another season. But I truly think that isn't now yet, she barely memories anyone on the voice." I had spoked up, after Mark obviously stated that he wanted her back. Just when I was about to say that I was not the boss of her though and that if he wanted to, he could ask her opinion, I heard someone clearing her throath behind me. As I turned around, I saw Gwen leaning against the door frame while frowing at me with pissed eyes.

Without many words, I ended the phonecall. Gwen and I stared at each other for a few seconds, as I saw in her eyes that things weren't going to turn out very brightly.

"What was that about?" I knew it was an retorical question, considering her face told me she already knew who I just had a conversation with. As I didn't answer right away, she spoke again.

"Did you seriously decide for me whether I would be ready to be a coach again?" Anger slipped through her voice as she was no longer leaning against the doorframe but instead was walking up a little closer.

"Look, Gwen, he asked me for my opinion", I answered her, staying calm.

"So you tell him I'm not ready? How in hell can you know I'm not ready?" She cried out as her furious eyes seemed to burn holes into me.

"I don't think you are. That's my opinion, so that's what I told him." My voice started to raise up now, in desperation though, not anger.

"It's my life, Blake, I can make my own decissions for God's sake!"

"I know that, I do! I was just about to tell him that he should call you. That it's your discission to make at the end. He just also asked me for my opinion." I tried to explain, while I took a step closer, which sadly enough was followed by her taking a few steps backwards.

"What makes you think your opinion is relevant? You're not my husband!" She was walking around in the kitchen nervously, while throwing me furious glances. Her words beates me up, as I lost the controll over my thoughts and words for a second.

"I might not be your husband, but I'm your boyfriend, Gwen!" I cried out. "Whether you remember or not, I am!" The strenght of my voice seemed to surprise her a little and I regretted it immediately as I saw her getting even more mad at me.

"I don't know you, Blake! So I don't know if you're my boyfriend! For all I know you're just a rebound!" She shouted back, as her last part caught my eyes' attention. I was left in shock, as I just heard her nonchallantly call me just a rebound. As if I meant nothing. As if my carings, my love, my friendship and my patience from over the last weeks hadn't meant a thing. As she talked about me as a stranger, who she just was using to get herself through. It literally broke my heart as I couldn't believe those words had just left her mouth. This is not the love of my life talking, suddenly shooted back to my head. As I lost all my patience and my heart broke in ten thousand pieces, I looked at the woman in front of me. Suddenly all of my hurt and all of the feelings that had been building up inside of me over the last week outed themself in the worst way. Anger.

  
"Sometimes I wish this all never happened! I miss my old Gwen, 'cause she would remember stuff like this!" I shouted back at the furious eyes that were looking at me on the other side of the kitchen. "She would remember that our love isn't just a rebound!" I also added, which made Gwen's angry eyes fill with tears as I saw her swallow them back. The anger soon had fully dissapeared as only sorrow had placed itself in her eyes. Which broke my heart even more. Regretting every single part of what I just had said, wishing I could take it all back. But I didn't get the chance to apologize. Instead I saw a tear fall down her cheek, which she quickly stroke away with the palm of her hand.

"Maybe you should just live with the memory of the 'old me', because this is who I am now, and you clearly don't want me like this" In midsentence her voice cracked as she barely could contain herself from sobbing as she ran to the stairs. I shouted her name quickly and desperately, full of regret, as she just ran passed me. I wanted to hold her, hug her tight, comfort her, tell her I'm sorry. But instead she ignored my plea and ran to her room. To be followed by the closing of her bedroom door.

I'm such an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Laney's help!!  
> Hope yall "enjoyed" and I'm sorry.


	9. meet me halfway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 2!!!

My heart was racing out of control and I simply knew that I couldn't let it go. The whole world knows that I used to be this boy she loved, the one she wrote thousand songs about. I literally just brought tears to the eyes of the girl of my dreams and I feel like crap. My heart ached as I replayed the scene of five minutes ago in my head, still hearing the closing of the door upstairs.

In the last minutes that I stood there, with my hands on the kitchen island as I looked down at my feet lost in my thoughts, I thought about the words she had spoken. Saying that maybe I should let go of her and hold on to the image I have of her. Did she mean it? Did she want me to let go of her? The insecurities filled my head with wonder, but quickly I shook my head. I was making things up. Obviously I know deep down she doesn't want me to let go, otherwise she wouldn't be here in Tish with me. She wouldn't come along to a completely foreign state with someone she doesn't want to get to know.

I did miss the old Gwen, I did, badly. But it wasn't much caused by Gwen, not at all. It's just me, missing the way she used to stare at me with all the love of the world, missing how she couldn't get enough of my kisses, missing her little hand in mine. But I know that that Gwen's still in there somewhere, that that Gwen isn't the old Gwen... That's just a part of her, that hasn't been comfortable around me yet to let me see. God I hated myself for maybe screwing up the chance to ever see that part of her again.

Because as much as I love the Gwen I just described, the completely, hands over heels in love with me Gwen, I love the Gwen that had just ran off to her room just as much. I love every single part of her, her flaws as much as her pros. I kept looking at my cowboy boots as I breathed in heavily, followed by a deep sight. What do I do now? Obviously walking away never was an option. Picturing the only person I wanna love in someone else's arms, I think I would just die because of heart ache.

I had to make it up to her somehow. Without having a plan at all, I was dragging my boots up on the stairs and makine my way to her room. Right in front of her door, I stopped. I felt nailed down to the flour, as if I literally could no longer take any other step. I took a few more breathes in and out then knocked on her door as I swallowed, trying to find my words.

"Gwen?" I heard some movement in the room, letting me know she was in there indeed.

"I won't come in, unless you let me." I added, to reassure her I didn't want to put any pressure on her, hoping that she'll just open the door for me. I know I could easily just walk in, considering there wasn't a lock on the door, but I needed her to want me there. As she didn't seem to open the door, I sighted while running my thumb and index finger over my closed eyelids.

"Fine, I'll give my speech on this side of the door then", I said eventually. "I want to make this right, I really do. I just don't know what to say that will make you change your mind about me. That will make you think of less of a jerk of me. Because if I would tell you how I feel about you, that would frighten you away but if I don't say anything at all, I know that that would make you run over the hills as well." It kept quiet on the other side of the door, but yet I swear I could feel her presence near, as if she was right at the other side of the door. I'm kind of sure she was as well.

"I know all of this because I know you, Gwen. And I like you like a lot", Emphasising on the word 'a lot' with my southern accent. "the person from a year ago, the person from a month ago, the person that's standing right behind this door. I like you. Present tense." I tried to fix my comment about the old Gwen, as my voice began to crack as I still didn't get any kind of response.

"No matter what will happen, I will always like you. Because I believe you're the girl for me, Gwen Stefani. And I'm sorry if I made you feel any other way just now, but you saved my life and I seriously can't imagine my life without you", a single tear left my eye as I kept on rambling, finishing up with a sarcastic chuckle, not believing how this all happened. "Meet me halfway Gwen, I'm so sorry" I repeated, hoping for a door to open. 

"I'm an idiot." I said after a while, as I let the past hour sink in even more. As that comment had left my mouth for a few seconds, I suddenly heard some movement coming from the other side, as I saw the door handle go down a little and slowly the door opened. Facing my favourite blond rock star, with tear stains on her cheeks. She had changed from her skinny jeans into a grey sweat pant, which threw me back to those Sundays in Oklahoma that we used to spent together. Her not caring about her make-up, about fashion, about paparazzi or just about the crazy lives we both have from time to time. Just her, hundredth percent beauty, hundredth percent natural. Those were my favourite.

But somehow seeing those sweat pants right now, made me feel more at ease. 'Cause I gotta say, I got scared there for a little, that maybe she would no longer want to stay here. But considering she put on her sweat pants, was a mark for me to know that deep down, she also knows that we'll resolve this eventually. That we can't just walk away like that.

The door was only lightly cracked open, as she kept on standing behind the door for a few seconds, not daring to look me in the eye just yet.

"Hi", I tried to crack up the mood only a little bit, which seemed to help her open the door fully now. Yet her eyes wandered off to my boots instead of looking up and meeting mine. That's what made me place my hand on her chin to let our eyes find one another. Her eyes held a little bit of embarrassment, fear and hurt as she hesitantly caught my gaze. I stroke my thumb over her chin a few times as I gave her a small, miserable smile.

"I want nothing more than for you to be happy, and God you have no idea how badly I want you back on the voice, I just..." I swallowed, as I realised that I was the one now who had broken our gaze. So I gathered my courage and pulled my head upwards again and found her chocolate brown eyes once again. "...the doctors told us to not pressure you, to not push too hard to get your memories back, 'cause it could backfire us. And that place, it's literally our story. And I just-- I got scared." I admitted now, what I should've done in the first place, I knew now. Her expression didn't change a bit as she kept on staring at me. Which indicated to me that I should go on. I should keep on talking until she's convinced about how determined I am about our relationship and about how crazy in love I actually am with her.  

"I never intended to not tell you, to not let you choose at the end. I just gave my personal opinion, but that doesn't mean a thing. If you want to do the voice season 12, I'll have your back",  her eyes started to water again now, as they never left mine while biting her lips, trying to hold back her tears. As one tear slipped through anyway, I quickly caught it while placing my hand on her cheek and wiping it away.

"You're not just a rebound", she said suddenly which left me frowning by her sudden change of subject. Eventually I shook my head, as I agreed with what she said.

"No I'm not, but don't worry about that now", I said while letting out another small smile, not wanting her to feel bad about what she said. After all she had every right to be confused and mad at me. It started to worry me that she hadn't returned a single smile ever since our fight, but instead kept on looking at me with teary eyes.

"You deserve be-"

'No I don't" I interrupted her sentence, as I saw where she was going. "You're the best I could get and I'm never letting you go. So don't go there, not gonna happen, just a waste of t-"

I was meant to say 'time' when I was startled as I felt her arms thrown around my neck. She suddenly pulled me closer to her until our lips locked. I'm not sure if my heart had ever pounded so fast in my life. As I wasn't expecting it at all, I got confused for over a few seconds, before I kissed her right back, pressing my lips harder against hers. The warmth of her mouth sent a current running through my body. Leaning into her as I loosely placed my hands on her lower back when I felt her arms around my neck tighten. I feel her tiny body pressed against me, and I inhale her perfume, her shampoo, and that extra scent that’s just her. It didn't last long though, before her soft lips left mine already. One of her hands was on my scruff now, while I felt her nails slowly stroke against it. I hadn't opened my eyes yet, as our foreheads rested against one another and I still was in the aftershock of our kiss, as I still felt my lips tingle. My hands didn't move though, as they stayed on her tights, not wanting her to freak out over an unexpected movement. So that's why they stayed put. I heard her let out a rather content sight, right before she stood on her tiptoes again to quickly peck me on the lips. After that, her arms around me disappeared and she took a step back from me, to create a small space between us. Only looking at me for just a very small second.

"See you tomorrow, Blake", She said then suddenly with a shy smile while biting her lip unconsciously, soon to quickly turn around and then walk in her room. Closing the door in a hurry in that same second.

"Goodnight, Gwen", I said as soon as I regained my senses, knowing that she'll hear me nevertheless. As she was in her room, I was left there, startled with a stupid look on my face, in the hallway.

"God this woman", I mumbled to myself while smirkingly shaking my head as I made my way to my own room, missing her already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what u thought, your comments give me life!!!! xo Noor


	10. his lips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

"Good morning", a voice shook me out of my daydream, as I turned my morning head towards the southern accent. The steam of my tea reaching my face. Feeling a wave of sudden nausea from stress and embarrassment come over me as my eyes met his ocean blue ones. "Hi", I was able to get out eventually, as I winced at my own hoarse voice. Instead of what I was expecting, Blake only pulled one of his eyebrows up at me once with a happy smirk as he walked up at the fridge. Soon he was the one to break our gaze, as he searched for something in the fridge. I let out a small relieved sight, seeing him act nonchalant by not bringing up the kiss or giving me hopeful glances.

"I made some coffee", I said which made him look up at me again with a surprised face, followed by him looking at the coffee can on the kitchen table I was sitting at. "Thank you", he simple said with a content yet, still confused smile.

"It's for you, I'm sticking with tea", as I knew he was a little confused because I don't like coffee that much and prefer tea, big time. But I had decided to make him some, wanting to pamper him a little, after yesterday. Still feeling slightly bad about all of it. But feeling way more embarrassed about how I kissed him, twice and then quickly ran off to my room. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, as I returned my head towards his yard. Staring out the window, as I was drinking some tea.

Soon I heard the chair next to me move, when Blake came sitting next to me and poured some coffee in his mug. I couldn't contain myself from watching him. My eyes staying focused on his sleepy face and his messy curls, which seemed to be extra cute on the morning. He had began reading the paper as I kept on stealing glances of him every once in a while. And only an idiot would not have noticed my eyes burning a hole in him. As I saw a small dimpled smile appear after about a minute, I knew he had it very hard to keep on ignoring my gaze. After a few seconds, he looked up from the paper and putted it down as his eyes locked with mine.

His dimples showed now even more as his eyes seemed to soften as they found mine. I blushed shyly, even though it was kind of my intention to get his attention considering I knew I was being obvious.

"You wanna talk?" He said as he grabbed a hold of his mug and sipped from it. I nodded with a small, nervous smile.

"About which specific part of yesterday?" He stared out of the window as well, even though I saw him trying to hide his amused grin. I just rolled my eyes as I let out a small laugh. But honestly, thinking back on it. On yesterday and that kiss.. I still can't believe I did that, that I kissed him. And got that kiss... it was, it wasn't typical, you know? It felt like magic.

"About our discussion", I said while still laughing as he smirked up at me now. After a few seconds of smiling at each other, he seemed to regain his senses as he got all serious then.

"If you want, I can call Mark right now and tell him you're up for season 12. If that's what you want, I'll do it." Blake said sincere.

"No no no, Blake baby", I flapped out as my hand reached for his that was laying on the table. Both of us were surprised from my petname as I forgot for a moment what I was about to say. "Um well- I wanted to apologize."

"For what?" Blake said as he turned his hand around a little, which made my hand fall into his, instead from laying on top of the back of his hand. He squeezed my hands slightly.

"For being selfish", he frowned while shaking his head, I know he wanted to talk but I hushed him, as I went on.

"You're important to me and so is your opinion. It was just a bit weird to have to think about another person's opinion as well. Like I'm not used to have someone -- caring about me. For over ten years, I've been alone in making decisions, Gavin... he never wanted to put energy in thinks I could perfectly decide alone...." I swallowed a little as I felt Blake stroking one of his fingers over my hand. "...He just never cared. And you do and I freaked out. I got mad at you because you care and I'm sorry." I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep it dry, as I heard my voice crack and a few tears rolled over my cheeks. He made a shushing noise as he stood up from his chair and went standing behind mine. At first his hands stroke both of my arms, feeling his soft fingers comfort me. Then he crouched a little and wrapped his arms around my body as his head came to rest on top of mine right after he had placed a soft kiss on my scalp. **Feeling his lips on my head, made me want to turn around and place my lips on his again. Thanking him for caring that much.**

"It' s ok. I understand, don't worry, shhh" He spoke while I placed my hands on top of his strong arms that were still wrapped around me. I leaned in to the back of my chair, letting my head rest on his chest as he kept crouched behind my chair.

\---

I was preparing the both of us a salad, as Blake decided to start setting the table. Blake had been telling a story about how when he told one of his friends, Luke, about having a new girlfriend. Apparently Luke was convinced Blake was lying about dating 'the Gwen Stefani', as he didn't understand how Blake could score a girl like me. I made a mental note to brag about what a catch Blake is to Luke, when I see him this night for the first time since the accident. Considering Luke asked for the two of us to hang out along with him and his wife, Caroline and with Chris Young, who apparently also is a country star. I know so little about that world, It's crazy. I was laughing with how detailed and funny Blake was telling the story as suddenly I felt his body brush op to mine. A little startled, I snapped my head up from the salad I was making, to see Blake's large figure standing close behind me while one of his arms reached to one of the upper kitchen closets. When he saw my shocked expression, he grinned very amused to my big surprise.

"I'm sorry", he said then, as I felt his breath on face considering how close we were then. Seeing his lips move from speaking, I suddenly focused on them and how suddenly the feeling shoot back through my mind from how my lips brushed his yesterday. God, **I wanted to kiss him so badly right now**. He was trying to hide his amusement, but not succeeding as he took one step further from me, picking out two glasses form the closet to set on the table. I lost my shocked expression immediately as I playfully slapped his chest when he couldn't get the grin of his face. I knew he probably didn't mean to brush up to me, but didn't mind that he did either. And to my own big surprise, I didn't actually mind either. In contrary, maybe I wouldn't even mind if he would need some more glasses.

Trying my hardest, I tried to shake away my thoughts. As I looked behind me to see Blake walking up to the table, catching myself looking at his cute but. Oh my god, what's wrong with me today? Lost in my confusion I picked up the salad bowl and started to walk towards the table as well. Not looking where I walked, I basically almost dropped the bowl as I barely literally ran in to Blake, who was heading to one of the closets again. Shyly I looked up at him as he gave me a dimpled one back. Both of us took another step to the right, followed by taking another one to the left. His hands finding my waist, high enough not to be inappropriate, as we took another step to the right. Leaving the both of us laughing awkwardly at each other, not being able to pass one another.

I then saw him bend down a little as his face came a little closer towards mine. "How about I stay still for a second and let you pass?" He winked at me as I smiled, sinking away into his eyes for a minute. **Suddenly I remember my need to want to kiss him again.** After being brought back to earth by his arm gesture, indicating me to walk passed him, I did. As I walked towards the table, I turned my head to give him one more look, to find him already staring.

 

\---

"You guys are so gonna lose!" Chris said right after he had thrown a strike, sounding all competitive as he made fun of Blake and Luke. But when he changed his eyes from Blake's towards mine, he changed his attitude by giving me a small, sweet smile. I smiled right back at him as I saw Blake chuckle change into him rolling his eyes a little. I knew for a fact that he already got a little jealous ever since Chris and I started talking this evening.

I'm not gonna lie, I like Chris a lot. His humour is hilarious and he seems to be very caring. But as much as I like the guy, all I had eyes for was Blake. But as Blake had told me earlier today that Chris used to have a big crush on me, I know now even more that Blake was jealous. Every time I let out a laugh, I saw him look up with a fake grimace. Somehow I thought it was cute though.

 It was Luke's idea to go bowling as apparently we had done it before, the four of us, without Chris though. When I saw the screen change to my name, I sighted dramatically as I walked up to the bowling ball strain. Blake's chuckle reached my ears again, which made me turn my head up and beam at him, knowing he was laughing with me.

"You want me to help you already?" He asked again, after I had shook my head too proudly after I threw in the gutter of the bowling alley. But now I looked up at him with puppy eyes while I pouted a little.

"I suck at this!" I said eventually while taking a step closer to him and reach for his hand.

"I know you do", he said while laughing which made me act as if I was in an enormous shock. The next moment he walked up to me while grinning and taking my hand. "You can't be good in everything, darling", It amazes me how he always tells something sweet to me after he gave a 'mean, playful' comment, to reassure me he was only kidding.

I saw Blake pointing to a bowling ball which had a low number on it, to indicate that it was light weighted. After I took it , I felt Blake's soft hand on the small of my back, leading me closer to the bowling alley. As we were standing right in front of it now, I felt Blake's hands place themselves on my waist as he moved me a little closer and more to the middle. After that I felt Blake's hand stroke over my arm while the other one slowly pushed a little on my back, to make me bend a little to get into the right position. After that I felt his hand cover mine that was holding the bowling ball. But all I could think about was how I felt his breath on my neck and how I felt the side of his strong body pushed against mine.

I didn't even notice that our arms had moved to throw the ball, until I noticed his hand leaving mine along with the bowling ball and I missed the warmth of his body already.

"Oh my god!" I screamed as I saw the ball actually hitting some bowling pins. I literally jumped up as I ran into Blake's arms, who wrapped themselves around me immediately. "We did it!" I said as I looked up at his face while my chin was lightly landed on his chest. His face was so close to mine again now, I swear I could almost feel our lips touch. God, **I wanted to kiss him so badly right now** , especially when I saw him shoot one of his beaming, dimpled smiles back at me.

For all I know, we stood there staring at each other like a fool for minutes until I saw Caroline awkwardly walk up to the bowling ball stain to pick out one herself. It's then that I got aware of the world around me again. Making eye contact with Caroline for a second, made me decide to just kiss Blake on the cheek quickly before he let go of me and gave me a small wink.

\---

The moment we came home after a long day filled with mixed feelings, but mostly me thinking about his lips on mine, I plumped down on the couch waiting on Blake to join me as he went to take a quick shower. As he walked in the living room, he saw me unconsciously stroke my neck. He frowned while placing his head on his shoulder to gave me a confused glance. "Your neck's bothering you?" I shook my head while pursing my lips together, trying not to put all the attention on me. "You can't lie to me, baby girl", he said as he winked which made me blush. He was still trying to dry the tips of his curls as he walked up to one of his wooden chairs to put the towel on it. When he headed back toward me on the couch, he made a circling movement with his finger, indicating that I should turn around.

I obeyed as I sat down with my back towards Blake. I felt a rush of shivers go through my veins as his finger tops stroke through my hairs and pulled it all together to delicately lay it over my shoulder. The next moment I felt Blake's hand where my neck met my shoulders as I felt his thumbs stroke over my skin. After almost a minute of silence and enjoying his relaxing message, I spoke up again.

"What's on your mind, cowboy?" I said eventually, not knowing why exactly I knew something was up, but knowing at least that something definitely was. He kept quiet for a moment. "Nothing important", he said eventually as his lips softly placed a kiss on the middle of my neck, making me giggle a little. After that I decided to let it go and wait until he would bring it up by himself. Which happened after only around a minute or three.

"So, you liked my friends?" Without thinking I nodded as I got enthusiastic thinking about the amazing bowling time we had. It felt like I knew them for years. "God, Blake, your friends are the best. They are so sweet", I heard a small, shy chuckle as I kept on enjoying his massage.

"I noticed you really kick off with Chris", There it was. I couldn't help but burst out in laughter as I leaned down on my own crossed legs. "What's so funny?" He said, sounding sincerely surprised as his hands fell down my back to eventually end up on the couch in front of him. I quickly turned myself around on the couch to face the gorgeous man in front of me. My hand reached out to his cheek while I felt the tears spring into my eyes from laughter. "You mocking me?" He said, still sounding surprised and maybe even slightly hurt.

I reached my other hand towards his face as I quickly shook my head, trying to hold back my laughter. Trying to let his confusion disappear, I sighted, still amused as I started to speak.

"No, no, Blake, I'm not mocking you", I said while pursing my lips together, realising he was still seeing my hidden smile considering I saw him rolling his eyes trying to act annoyed.

"You're cute when you get jealous, though", Blake let out a deep sight as he made eye contact with me with an annoyed look. "I'm not jealous but the guy is seriously into you and you clearly..." he started to talk as he stopped in the middle of his sentence as if he realised he was just talking crap. Probably because I kept on looking at him with a crooked eyebrow.

"ok fine, I'm jealous. There I said it. And if that makes me petty, well then guilty as charged." I smiled while l buried my head into his chest, hugging him tight.

"You're not petty, Blakey, you're sweet"

"Good" He said as his lips kissed the top of my head again.

As we stayed like that for over a minute, I felt my eye lids get heavy. "You should head to bed, sweetheart", as if he was reading my mind. So I stood up and stretched a little. We went together upstairs as I stopped at my door and took a hold of his hand, stopping him from walking further towards his room.

"I had such a fun day, Blake. And thank you for the massage", I said eventually as he looked at me with a small, content sight. "You're welcome, I had a blast as well. Goodnight Gwen."

I smiled up at him and thought for a second until I stood on my tip toes to lean into him. To do what I've been thinking on doing the entire day and give him a small peck on his lips, not long enough for him to kiss me back or pull his arms around me. Just a small, casual goodnight kiss.  But yet I felt as if every weight fell off of my shoulders. Just as yesterday, he looked a little surprised as I was the one to wink at him now.

"I start to really like standing in front of this door, really." I started giggling as he let out a chuckle.

"Goodnight Blake", I opened my door and walked in and waited to close the door until he said it back.

"Goodnight, Gwen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love for yall! I finished this in a bit of a hurry though, so I hope yall enjoy !! xo


	11. smooth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduction of the one of a kind: Chelsea Handler.   
> Including some jealousy!

"Blake Shelton, you should stop now, before I start crying", Chelsea said while happy tears appeared in her eyes as she was still laughing with Blake's comments about how badly he was shocked about her 'Chelsea does' documentary. Apparently Chelsea had done four documentaries where at first she went to check out all kinds of marriages, after that something with racism and technology, ending with one about drugs. What Blake had been laughing with and was expressing his joy for was how she had actually tried out all types of drugs on television. It's so crazy to me as well, but who knows what became a regular in the last four years.

I didn't truly care about the documentaries if I can be honest. Because for real, I don't know her that well. Obviously I had done some interviews with her in the past, but nothing that seemed to be so impressive that she would be one of my best friends. Even though Blake had told me how much I used to love this woman and how we texted all day long ever since I met her for an interview little then a year ago. Today I had tried to like her and acted as if everything was normal, when I actually wasn't feeling good at all. Not since we walked into her house and she walked up to me to give me a tight hug.

Just as the whole wide world, she knows about my memory loss, but she seemed to think that I at least knew her well enough from the past to act as if we're best friends. Somehow I think it's only fair to act as kind as she had been acting towards me, but it bothered me anyway. Even though I hated the pampering of people who felt awkward that I didn't remember them, I apparently seemed to hate it just as much when they pretend that everything's ok.

I bit my lip as I kept on watching Blake and Chelsea interact with one another, as they sat down next to each other on the couch. Me sitting on the couch closest to them. They were still talking about the documentaries when I heard Blake's low, beautiful chuckle. Suddenly Chelsea tried to start a conversation with me again. Probably noticing that I was just staring at them or when I wasn't, just staring at the other people in her house that also came to her party. I seemed to get lost in my thoughts from time to time.

"What did you think about the documentary, honey?" What started off as a friendly gesture, trying to include me, soon changed into a painful conversation. I made eye contact with her as I was startled with the question. Why does she think I would have seen it as well? My expression must've been confused as hell, as I frowned at the woman then made eye contact with the handsome cowboy. As he had a slight bit of panic in his eyes, he quickly took over the conversation, to make it less awkward.

"She loved it as well, she kept on saying: 'oh my God she's crazy!'" As he tried to imitate my girlish voice. I smiled at his attempt to cheer up the mood, just out of appreciation. Blake locked eyes with me right after he had answered Chelsea, trying to read my mind. I softly smiled up at the man but when I changed my eyes back to Chelsea, my face straighten up again. Whether I wanted it to or not. Of course I had seen it, considering her and me were practically best friends last months. But why in hell did she ask me such a thing, if she knows about my memory loss? Who in hell does such a thing? As I was thinking those thoughts, it was as if she was reading my mind- as her confused eyes that kept going from mine to Blake's- changed into an anxious, shocked one.

"I'm such an idiot", Chelsea slapped her hand in front of her mouth as she finally jumped up a little and went to sit a little further from Blake, no longer allowing her knees to touch his. Thank God for that. "Gwen, I'm so sorry, wow, I'm so stupid." My courtesy rules and the way I was educated told me to tell her she wasn't stupid, that it's fine. That it could happen to the best of us. But for some reason I was boiling inside. From the way-too-close welcome hug, to her forcing her way on the couch next to Blake's, to her touching Blake's knee from time to time -with her hand or her own knee, whichever she could-, to now asking me those questions. And actually also the part that she called me 'honey' irritated me. God.

I breathed in, trying to not let my frustrations get the best of me, yet ending up rolling my eyes. As soon as I realised how impolite and rude that must've been, I already felt the guilt slip in. It didn't take long though before I remembered how she had been demanding all the attention, was nonchalant with her questions and even practically sat on Blake's lap. Especially the last part, if you all allow me to be honest.

"It's fine", was all I could get over my lips, sounding even a bit arrogant as I had mumbled the words to my teeth. "Gwen?" I saw Blake sit on the edge of the couch now as he had whispered my name. His arm reached out to place his hand on my knee.

"It's fine, Blake", I said, not needing his comfort right now. Instead I let my eyes fall down on the crowd in her house, searching for a familiar face. When suddenly I saw Adam's smiling face, next to a blond woman, who I recognized from photos as his wife, along with some other people I didn't know. Then I quickly gave Blake another glance.

"I'm going to go say hi to Adam", I rambled the words out to Blake while standing up already. Feeling his hand fall off of my knee. As I saw Blake give me a worried look, I smiled at him. "I'm fine, really. I just want to say hi to Adam", I laughed it off trying to convince him, which seemed to reassure him. So I walked away from them, ending up by giving Chelsea one more look and trying my hardest to throw her my most genuine smile.

 

When Adam saw me walk up to him, he beamed up as his eyes started to sparkle.  "Hey you", I said while I gave him a hug. Last time -and first time- I saw him was at the hospital. In the meantime we did send each other a few texts. Mostly him asking me advice on how to do things right for his pregnant, and very beautiful wife. It was funny though, considering I didn't really know him at all, but yet he felt the most comfortable about still texting me about such things. He did start off the texting conversation with the question whether I would mind if he asked me some advice about pregnancy. Which ended up with him telling me that I always used to tell him before they actually got pregnant that as soon as he got worried -even if it was about the smallest, most ridiculous thing- he had to send me. So we started banding a little over texts, as he sometimes also shoot me a memory of the two of us on the voice. Such as one day he told me I got some chocolates from a contestant during a blind audition and that I gave Blake one. And then he ended up being like: 'I ain't got no candy', you know things like that. Obviously I also watched the outtakes from the voice from my seasons and most episodes as well. So it felt as if I truly know him now.

"How you've been?" He said while still hugging me towards him, as I placed my hands on his back.

"Good actually. We just got back from Oklahoma", I answered with a big smile. He then made a hand movement at my outfit. "Look at you, fashionable as always." I blushed while I thanked him. Then I felt Adam's wife eyes burn on me as I went to say hello to her as well, by giving her a kiss. After that, Behati mixed her way in the conversation with the other people again, leaving just me and Adam.

"How's your wife and growing baby?" He let out a happy sight as his sparkling eyes returned by just glancing at Behati next to him, interacting with the others.

"It's so good, man... I can't wait to meet our baby girl", I beamed up at him while returning a content smile. Thinking back on that specific expectant feeling. "Talking about babies, where's Blake?" He asked while looking around.  I sighted unconsciously which made him frown a bit amused at me. "What's wrong?"

"Just... Chelsea." I stated as I nodded towards Blake and Chelsea who were still sitting on the couch where I left them. Adam looked in their direction as well, as he patiently waited for me to go on. "Did I really like that woman?" I let out hesitantly, which made Adam burst out in laughter.

"You really did. Like, you even got offended when people offended her, you know?" Adam said in between his chuckles, which made me pout a little while glancing over at the blond woman who was now laughing terrible hard while her hand touched Blake's knee again as he was chuckling as well. Why didn't he pull his knee away, God!

"You know what's so funny though?" I turned my head back towards Adam while replying by shaking my head. "Around a year ago, you asked me whether I liked Chelsea. And when I told you that I ended up liking her a lot, even though it took me years to do so, you admitted that she annoyed the shit out of you", he admitted as I giggled now as well.

"She's a lot to handle and a lot to get used to. But for real, she's like your person." Both of us were staring at Blake and Chelsea now. I sighted as Adam grinned as he watched the two interact from the far. Both of them acting like idiots as they were laughing almost every single second.

"Is it necessary that she's touching him all the time though?" I suddenly flapped out, what was really on my mind. Adam snapped his head at me now as he had an amused smile on his face.

"Hide that smile of yours! It's not funny! She's practically sitting on my boyfriend's lap!" Adam had bursted out in laughter even more but ended up looking surprised while pulling up a brow.

"boyfriend, hah?" He was mocking me while I slapped him playfully. "Shut up." Eventually he lifted his arm over my shoulder as I rested my head on his shoulder. 

"Believe me, Gwen, he hasn't had eyes for any other woman ever since you guys started texting on season nine. Chelsea is like his sister." Somehow it relieved me to hear him say such a thing. Not that I was truly worried about Blake, I know how much he's into me. But yet, I'm only human. It also made me feel loved as well. Not only by Blake, but also by Adam. It shines through how much he cares about me, how close of a friendship we had/have.

 

Adam ended up hooking his arm in mine and pulling me towards Blake and Chelsea. After I only took one step closer to Blake, he had already token notice of me walking up to them. His smile grew bigger with every step as Adam chuckled. "I told you he only has eyes for you", Adam said right before he let go of my arm to give Blake a side hug and by doing so worming his way in between Chelsea and Blake. The four of us laughed at his behaviour, but only the two of us knowing his intention. To separate them two, so I sure as hell would no longer have a reason to dislike Chelsea. After a few seconds of Blake and Adam starting a conversation with the two of them, I reached my hand out towards Chelsea to pull her up from the couch.

"You wanna get another drink?" I said nodding towards her empty whiskey glass. Relieved that the tension had disappeared between us, she grabbed a hold of my hand. Allowing us to walk at her kitchen where she poured herself another glass of whiskey and for me a white wine. Even though the tension was gone, we still were standing with a bit of an awkward silence. Right after she had pulled out my wineglass for me to take, she was done with not talking.

"So..." She stared at me while sipping her whiskey. "You and Blake have done it already?"

I basically choke up in my sip of wine, as the question took me aback. Chelsea burst out in laughter, yet keeping her eyes focused on me, not letting me out of answering her.

"What?" I ended up answering, still in shock.

"Obviously I know you guys have done it already, I just was wondering if you guys had already done it without your memories", the way she asked it was so natural, as if the question was the most normal thing in the whole wide world. The longer the both of us stood there in her kitchen, a bit away from the party, the more awkward it got. Pressuring me on giving her an answer.

"Not that it's any of your business but no, we haven't slept together-- since the accident." I added, with confusion in my voice, avoiding her eyes.

"Oh come on girl", Chelsea said now as she pushed herself up on her kitchen island to sit down. Immediately petting next to her on the island, indicating for me to sit next to her. "It's totally my business. We used to talk about it all the time." Hesitantly I walked up to the island to sit next to her.

"We did?" I frowned, sounding surprised about how open our conversations must've been. Because to talk about my sex life, It's not like I can talk about that fluently without getting shy. All she did was nod head enthusiastically.

"Not like all the time, but now and then. You know, you mostly talked about Blake and how much you like him and sent me picture of the two of you, on which I replied with a pic of me and my dogs."

For the first time I actually laughed with something she said as she laughed along, pleased to see my smile again. "No no, I mean that has happened as well. But we just talked about whatever that popped up in our heads."

I nodded, taking all of it in as I looked over at her fridge to strangely enough find a picture of Blake, her and me on it. I smiled as I saw three happy faces.

"You know what's the weirdest part right now?" I asked her, as I already laughed a little. She shook her head.

"how right now you actually know more about my sex life then I do." She let out a small chuckle.

"If you want to make it even weirder, I can share the details", with that comment of her, I burst out in laughter while hiding my face in my hands, shaking from laughter. As we were done laughing, she started again. "I'm serious though, if you want to-"

"No way! I want to experience it myself!" I interrupted her, while I almost cried from laughter now.

"So you are planning on having sex with him soon!" Chelsea said while pointing her finger towards me with an amused expression. Just when I was about to answer that I wouldn't deny that it hadn't slipped into my mind from time to time, I heard Adam's voice.

"I think I might be interrupting something", Adam grimaced a bit remorseful. When my eyes caught his, I literally buried my face in his hand while dramatically pretending to sob by sinking away in embarrassment. Leaving both Chelsea and Adam laugh. "Anyway, Blake and I split up to look for you, I think he might be getting a bit tired, the old man." I looked at my watch, telling me it was passed 2AM. And considering Blake had told me he barely slept last night, worrying about leaving Oklahoma already and hating to have to sleep in LA again soon -also known as without me in his house- told me he must've really been tired.

As that realisation kicked in, I jumped off of the island. "I'm gonna go search for him to tell him I found you." He winked at me before heading to leave the room. Not before he turned back one more time to give us another amused look. "You two are lucky I wasn't Blake", chuckling he walked out of the kitchen. Leaving both Chelsea and I imagining Blake walked in while she just made such a comment. I giggled a little as Chelsea just shook her head, also laughing as she jumped of the island as well. As we moved ourselves towards the hallway to search for my coat. To soon leave the woman's house with whom I now had a really good feeling with. I actually might start to like her. No one's really that direct, that true to who they are. And being yourself is always something I've respected and appreciated in a person.

 

 

As Blake and I were in his car -after he insisted to drive anyway, after I had asked him whether I should, considering I also had only drank one glass- I grabbed my phone and went to my contacts. I typed in Chelsea's name to send her a text. As I saw Blake's eyes wander off for just a second at my screen, which I didn't mind, to find Chelsea's name on top of the conversation, I saw him smile out of the corner of his eyes. Probably being happy that I ended up liking one of my so called best friend after all.

<< Btw I'm not gonna deny it hasn't come to my mind yet. Bc it has. Gx>> I pressed send, to include her in the fact that I kind of already had thought about Blake in a sexual way. It didn't take long before Chelsea answered.

<< I knew it!!! Nothing's holding u back Gwen, go for it!!!>> I laughed a little out loud which made Blake's tired face beam up at me with his soft eyes. "What's so funny?"

"Chelsea is", I said while one of his hands left the steering wheel and reached for my hand which I took. "What did she say?" He asked to show interest, while trying to keep his focus on the road.

"Nothing really, just something about you", I admitted mysterious, as he looked at me again with a raised eyebrow. I just giggled while stroking one of my fingers over his hand which made him grin and focus on the road once again.

 

 

After a thirty minute drive, we reached my house, as he was about to drop me off. His house was only around fifteen minutes away from mine, but yet I felt a bit worried. The whole drive to my home, I had talked to him about some stupid stuff, keeping him awake and even making him singing along with some commercialized songs on the radio. So when his car was pulled in on my driveway, my eyes locked with his tired ones.

"I'm worried about you driving home", I said honestly which made him playfully roll his eyes while smirking. "I'll be fine. I promise."

"You can't promise that", I said which made his smirk disappear while just a small, content smile was there.

"Thank you for worrying", the both of us kept seated in the car, as it was quiet for a moment.

"You could stay over tonight", I rambled quickly as my eyes met his insecurely. I saw that my comment surprised him as he was speechless for a few seconds. Just staring at me, thinking about an answer, to eventually end up with a hesitant: "I could, yeah"

"I mean there's space enough..." I ended up saying while wincing at my word choice, considering I didn't want those words to leave my mouth. I didn't want him to sleep on the couch or wherever. "...in my bed --" Blake's head snapped towards mine.  "I mean, it's like uh- a double bed --" I awkwardly added. "Oh God this is so not going smooth!" My last add made both of us start laughing, so Blake's chuckle filled the car.

"It's fine, Gwen. I'd love to sleep in your bed with you in it as well." Blake ended up saying while giving me an adoring glance and a content smile. We stay put in the car for a few more seconds, as the both of us just stare at each other with a happy smile.

"Good. Let's go." I winked at him, breaking our gaze eventually to open the car door.


	12. a good night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> following straight up to where I left off last chapter, enjoy!!!

Gwen was in her bathroom  that came out in her bedroom, in which I was standing.  Awkwardly I was pacing around a little in her room, not really knowing what to do now. Obviously Gwen had literally asked me to stay over, but yet, being here in her room, I was a bit freaking out. As I kept pacing a little, my eye eventually fell on her bathroom door, that was lightly cracked.

Just when I was gonna take my eyes off of it, I caught a glance of Gwen's bare back. Snapping my head back towards the crack in the door, looking over at Gwen's bright pink bra lace covering a small part of her back. As I was kind of lurking on my own girlfriend, I suddenly felt the guilt slip in as I snapped my head away from the door. Because even though she's my girlfriend - well kind of - she still has her right of privacy. With a lot of effort, I sat myself down on her bed as I kept my eyes focused on my cowboy boots. Realising I should be taking them off, at least to keep my mind occupied. But as I was taking one of my boots off, I couldn't resist the urge to let my eyes wander off for just one more second. To see Gwen take off her jeans, showing me her curves in the black panty she was wearing. Exposing her long, smooth legs as she stepped out of her pants completely. I smiled a little at the sight before shaking my head and looking away to take off my other boot.

After a few more seconds she walked out in a soft pink nightdress with a white lace edge. Still letting her legs bare, which caught my immediate attention the moment she walked in her room again. Even though I tried my hardest not to be too obvious, I knew she saw me checking her out immediately as she blushed a little. Not wanting to ignore the moment, I made a comment.

"Wow, you look great", I said now, probably also a bit blushing as she gave me a grateful smile. So she stepped away from the bathroom door and passed me to go over to her side of the bed.

Considering I was planning on sleeping in my clothes, on her bed sheets, to not put any pressure on her, I pulled myself up from her bed. Then I walked over to the empty side of her bed as I sat down on her sheets. In the meantime, I felt Gwen ruffling around in her bed, probably nestling herself under her sheets. So just when I was about to throw my legs on her bed as well, I felt her hand on my shoulder. Making me look over my shoulder to catch her gaze.

"It's ok for you to take off your clothes as well", she said shyly, maybe also a bit nervous of my reaction. "Unless you're comfortable in them, I just don't want you to be uncomfortable because of me, in any way. So that's why I'm letting you know that I wouldn't mind." she rambled, in the cute way that only she can do. I chuckled at her words as I felt her hand leave my shoulder.

So instead of pulling my legs on her bed, I at first stood up again to nonchalantly put my pants off and unbutton my shirt as well. Eventually leaving me in just my underpants. Even though Gwen was sitting behind me, I felt her eyes burn on me as afterwards I sat down on her bed again and looked her way. Seeing her chocolate brown eyes meet mine. She then quickly gave me a small, embarrassed smile as I just grinned a little. After a second, she laid herself down then, placing herself on her side, leaving me facing her back. Her blond hairs laying beautifully over her pillow.

I was taking off my socks at the last moment. "Don't be silly, by the way, and get under the sheets."

I laughed at her last comment, before pulling up her sheets and sliding under them. Instead of laying down immediately, I sat down on my knees, before pulling myself up a little to allow my body to lean over her. Placing a soft kiss on her cheek. I heard her let out a surprised sight at first, but yet I felt her arm move up to let her hand fall down on my neck to stroke her nails over it for just a small second.

"Goodnight Gwen", I said as I pulled back and eventually shoved under her sheets completely, keeping a reasonable distance between us, yet still feeling the warmth of her body. "Sleep tight"

After turning off her light above her bed, the silence fell.

After almost a minute of closing our eyes, I heard Gwen move around a little in bed. "You cold?"

"Yeah", So without thinking much about it, I crawled a bit closer to her until I could feel her body almost touching mine. I ended up stroking my hand over her arm, to try and warm her up a little. Relieving a content sight coming from her, she leaned into my touch, causing her back to now be completely pressed against my chest. I kept on stroking my hand over her cold arm for a few minutes, until she seemed to be warmed up. My arm ending up, thrown around her waist. Luckily I felt Gwen's hand covering mine as it lay on her belly. Also feeling her legs being pressed against mine. Fully cuddling up to her now.

After around five minutes, I heard her let out a small, almost unhearable sight. Even though I was the most comfortable I had been in a while, I wasn't able to fall asleep. Maybe it was because of Gwen wasn't able to as well. "You still cold?" I asked with a sleepy voice already while I felt her finger unconsciously stroke over my hand. She shook her head. "What's wrong then, sweetheart?" I said while taking my hand away from her now to stroke her hair behind her ear, giving me a small access of view of her face. As it kept quiet for a few seconds, I placed my lips on her bare shoulder to give her a small, comforting kiss. Feeling confident about the two of us all of a sudden, after she had putted her hand on top of mine just a little ago.

Briskly she turned around, letting me fall down from my side to my back. Being face to face now. The light of the moon slipping through the curtains, made me be able to make out her beautiful, nervous eyes as I felt her tiny hand place itself down on my bare chest. Her side partly laying on top of me. I stared back at her, as I placed my hand on the small of her back. In the meantime Gwen her hand had moved from my chest towards my cheek, feeling her nails tickle my scruff. Her eyes followed her hand movement over my face, as I just kept focused on her curious, exploring eyes.

"You're very handsome, Blake",

I thanked the darkness for hiding my blush, as my smile grew brighter, which made her face light up with one as well. Gwen is the sweetest person, had already complemented me a few times about my personality. Indirect though. But never had she made a direct complement about my looks. Especially not while locking eyes with me. At least, not after the accident of course.

Instead of saying anything back, considering I tell her every second of every day how hot she is, I leaned in. As she met me halfway, letting our lips meet one another. Feeling my whole body shiver as now also my other hand made its way towards her back. One of her hands were still on my cheek as her finger tops went towards my neck, pulling my face closer to hers. Her lips hard on mine, as my hands moved up and down her back a little. Soon I heard Gwen let out a small grunt as I felt her mouth open slightly. Before I could catch a breath, her tongue entered my mouth. Feeling an electricity go through my body as my tongue found hers. Somewhere in the middle, I had felt Gwen push herself up a little and throw one of her legs over my waist. Literally sitting on top of me, I moved along with her, as I sat up a little. My arms brushing through her hair a little, as our mouths never left one another. As her hands had been gently holding my face, now moved more to my neck, as her arms went over my shoulders, allowing our chest to press against each other. Our kiss had turned hot in a matter of seconds, yet keeping its sweet undertone. As I ended sitting up, her legs went around my waist, feeling her arms move to my back now. Her nails stroking over my back.

My hands somehow had also moved from her hair towards the bottom of her back, ending up slightly cubing her ass. She let out a small giggle in between our kiss as my hands had pushed her up  a little, letting Gwen's head be higher up for the first time. I smirked as well, as I playfully threw her body back onto the mattress. Surprising her with the sudden movement, she let out an amused yelp as she laughed even more, when my lips left her for a short second. After the second had passed, she pushed herself up again, her lips on mine, as she continued our make out session. Even wrapping one of her legs around me, as I was on top of her. As I had thrown her down on the mattress, the hot air had decreased as we were still kissing, but now in a softer, sweeter way. Feeling her tongue against mine, softly stroking as we made a small kind of dance. One of her hands going through my hair, stroking my scalp. As my hand had slightly went under her  nightdress, caressing over her tight, to eventually end up on the small of her bare back. As I moved up a little more, suddenly my head bumped into the counter of her bed. Leaving me grunt a little, as she giggled.

I cracked up by letting out an "awtsch", as I let myself fall down on the bed beside her. No longer being on top of her. It didn't take a second though before Gwen turned to her side and threw her one of her arms around me and place one of her hands on top of my head where tomorrow a bump will be. "Aw boo", she said while stroking over my head, still laughing, leaving me chuckling. "You hurting?" She said in between her giggles. I shook my head while letting my eyes meet hers. "I did screw up our moment here", Now it was Gwen's turn to shake her head.

"You didn't screw anything up." Her soft voice spoke as we stared at each other for a few more seconds. Sinking away in her eyes, forgetting the world around us, forgetting about anything but us.

"But we should go to sleep now, I'm afraid", she said while pouting a little, which made me chuckle again as she buried her face in my chest and threw one of her legs over mine. Also feeling her fingers play softly with my chest hair.

I kissed the back of her head then wrapped one arm around her body.

"I'm afraid so, too. Goodnight again Gwen." I felt Gwen place a small kiss on top of my heart.

"Yeah... good night" she said, purposely letting a small pause in between those words.


	13. first date: part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love the song I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz so much.  
> Hope u enjoy this chapter, part two of date night will be next chapter! :)

Waking up in his strong arms was probably the best thing I've felt in a long time. It felt familiar somehow, which wasn't a new thing lately. Everything that happens feels familiar, which it probably was to my body somehow. My brain just seems to stay a bit behind.

One of his arms wrapped around my waist, as he lay on his back. My hand on top of his chest, feeling the beating of his heart. Hearing the rhythm of his heartbeat slowly wake me out of my dreams, as my head was more on the crock of his neck.

After a few seconds of slightly fighting the sunbeams with my eyes, Blake's head was no longer touching mine. Immediately reacting to the sudden movement and disappearance of the warmth of his breath on my forehead, I turned my head up a little. Making a grunting, sleepy noise while doing so. But as soon as my the back of my head was touching my neck, I couldn't hold back a small smile. Facing a beautiful, wide awake cowboy, who had slightly crooked his head to get a better view of me. His bright smile ready to still every girls heart without even realising it.

After throwing him a small, happy smile, I closed my eyes again after laying my head down on his chest once again. Blake let out a small chuckle as his grip around me tightened and his lips placed a simple, adorable kiss on the top of my head.

"Good morning beautiful", I smiled within his chest as I heard his country accent greet me and smelled his typical sweet smell. For a moment I was a little struck by the fact that I literally was in his arms right now. In a cowboy's arm, with his cowboy accent, cowboy smell. The guy with the flannel shirts, boots and little too wide jeans. Always wearing a simple ranch hat. Talking about the ranch... I'm in a guy his arms, who has a ranch and lives in Oklahoma.

I can't believe this. I doesn't make sense. How could I possibly end up in the arms of a man like that? He's different, not in a bad way. But never had I ever pictured my life to turn out this way. To be crazy about a cowboy. To not being able to stop smiling every time his eyes meet mine or every time my thoughts wander off to him. But yet, here I am, happier than I've ever been.

"Good morning", I answered him after yawning a little. I then moved my head up to make eye contact again. Then impulsively pushing myself closer to him, allowing our lips to meet for a brief second. Leaving Blake with an even bigger smile.

"You slept well?" I felt Blake's hand stroke over my spine, which made me giggle a little. He nodded, while showing his dimples.

"Best sleep ever. My head hurts a little though", he said, while being goofy as he pouted a little as if he was a four years old. I laughed a little as I remember our make out session and how abruptly it had ended.

"How about I'll go make you some thee?" Blake said as he already started to push himself out of bed already. But considering I immediately let out a grunt and kept clinging to him, he fell down again as he chuckled. "No, stay, you're so comfortable", he let out one of his typical country drawls as his hand stroke over my hair. "besides I would miss you too much" I nonchalantly added. I looked up again to catch his expression, which was a soft smile and sparkling eyes. Those damn sparkling eyes. Ocean blue. Wow.

"Aw, you'd miss me?" He said with his teasing voice while grinning now.

"Yes I would." I answered strong and steady, and hundredth percent serious. Which made Blake lean in now and push his lips on mine. A bit longer than the first one today, a bit different as well. One which seemed to have more commitment and more... well, love. Which is a scary word. Terrifying even. As our lips separated, Blake immediately noticed the change of my mood as he rubbed over my back.

"Too much?" It were two simple words, seven letters. But yet it meant the world. Showing me he cares about me 24/7. Pushing his own feelings aside every time one of my ridiculous insecurities kick in. But the words broke my heart as well. Not for me, but for him. Constantly having to think about my needs and about how I'd feel about it. I won't let him make himself smaller anymore.

"No," I shook my head. "Far from enough, instead", I smiled brightly, as the handsome man in front of me brightened up by my words.

"Gwen?" I hummed, considering I had laid my head down on his chest again, tracing with one of my fingers over his arm. It kept quiet for a few seconds, as if he having a hard time choosing his words

"Would you want to go out with me?" I smirked at his shyness, before looking up at him with a straight face. "Like, on an actual date?" His eyes met mine, as my straight face quickly changed into a smiling one.

"You're so cute when you're shy around me!" I said while playfully pushing him. He chuckled as well, still sounding a little nervous.  "But to answer your question, of course I want to go on a date with you, Blake Shelton. There's nothing I want more."

\---

Three days later, I was busy taking on my black heels when I heard the doorbell ring. Before I could even stand up myself I heard my middle child cry out.

"Mom! Can I get it?" Zuma came running to the living room, leaving his home work that he still hadn't finished. Just when I was about to tell him to get back to his homework, I see his cheerful, excited face smiling at me. His smile was contagious as I shook my head at his silliness.

"Sure, go ahead." I eventually give in, allowing him to sprint up to the front door. Making both Todd and I chuckle a little. The moment I heard the front door open, I heard a loud cheer coming from the hallway.

"Blake!" Through the crack of the door, I saw Zuma throw his arms around Blake's neck who was crouched down as soon as he saw that it was a little body opening the door. The cowboy's chuckle filled the house as his arms went around Zuma's small figure as well. "Hey buddy",

It only took like five seconds before I also heard Kingston race off of the stairs and ran to Blake as well as he cried out his name enthusiastic. Luckily Apollo was already asleep, otherwise he would've tackled him as well. I hadn't told Apollo that Blake would come over or he would never want to go to sleep. I can't believe how much those boys love him, it's crazy.

"I missed you so much!" King even added, making me frown a little. Why hadn't he said that to me?

"I missed you boys too, a lot", Blake then stood up again while Zuma kept clinging to him a little by giving him another side hug.

After that the three men walked in the living room, where I was patiently waiting for them.

"Hi", Blake said with a small, shy smile as he walked in the room with his arm still thrown over one of my boys. "Hey you", I answered him while giggling a little as I saw him wearing a black shirt and vest with his typical darker jeans, he looked hot. "You look, wow, gorgeous", he said as he handed me a bouquet of sunflowers. Immediately bringing me back to our trip to Oklahoma. I was wearing a black, short loose dress, not too chic but also not too casual and my hair was straightened down with a black ribbon on the height of my forehead, to push it up in the back a little. I saw my oldest look at us with a big smile on his face as he was leaning against the doorframe, Zuma already being in the kitchen along with his uncle Todd.

Obviously I took the flowers and gave Blake a grateful smile. "Wow, thank you", standing a bit awkwardly from that moment on, I just kept staring in the cowboy's eyes. When I suddenly took notice of the world again and still saw two very familiar chocolate brown eyes stare at me, I looked back at my boy.

"King, would you mind putting these in a vase for me?"  Considering King always is saying that he's already a big boy now that he's nine and that he can help with anything, he immediately took the sunflowers over gently.  He beamed up at me with his happy face before he walked in to the kitchen as well.

Blake then quickly filled the gap between us, as I threw my arms around his neck, allowing my lips to meet his for a few brief kisses. I giggled a little in between our small kisses as I felt his hands on the small of my back.

"Gwen, what ti- oh woops sorry", Blake and I quickly separated as Todd walked into the living room. I was standing with my back towards him as Blake was left startle, looking at my brother. I pushed my lips on one another while closing my eyes before turning around, to face Todd as well.

I saw how he was close to bursting out in laughter as he was giving me an amused glance and saw him swallowing a few times. Me on the other hand, I tried to compose myself.

"What did you wanna ask?" I said while taking a step closer to him, as I tried my hardest to act as if nothing happened. "I honestly have no idea any longer", he started laughing, as I also heard Blake chuckle. I rolled my eyes at him while I laughed along.

"So what does this mean though?" He sounded very much amused as he made a circling hand gesture towards Blake and I.

"It means we really have to leave for our date", Blake said as his hands came to rest on my bare shoulders, 'causing me to lean in to his touch and beam up at him.

"Oh yeah -- what time do they have to get to bed?"

\---

"Wow Blake, I love that restaurant. God, I love Italian", I said as we were walking on the beach. With our feet in the ocean, with my heels in one hand. He had taken me to this cute Italian place, with lots of candles and just really so romantic, wow. It was literally so close to the beach, that he had taken my hand in his and led me over to it. As I had taken off my heels, the height difference became even more obvious. It's crazy how big of a man he is.

Our fingers were intertwined as all we could heard were the sound of the waves reaching the shore. The sun was just starting to set so clearly as there were barely any clouds. It was around 9:30pm, so there were barely people on the beach besides us, and the people that were, didn't seem to pay much attention to who we were. So thank God for that.

All that I really saw right now was Blake anyway. He was staring at the ocean with a content smile. As I looked at him now, with the sun beaming behind him, his face seemed even more handsome as always - if that is possible. The way that the contours of his face literally shined up, wow he's so hot. Suddenly his eyes went away from the ocean as he met mine. Blushingly I looked away at how our feet were strolling through the ocean. I knew Blake was smirking at my shyness, not even needing to see it. I just knew. God, I loved the ocean so much, we used to came her so often when I was a kid along with my brothers. And then later on with my friends, and now with my country king boyfriend. As I felt my heart fill with happiness by just thinking about it, I unlocked my hand from his to wrapped my arms around his waist. He chuckled a little, that typical, happy country drawl, as I also felt his arm go over my shoulder. Feeling his fingers stroke over my  upper arm as he placed a kiss on top of my head.

"Oh!!! We should take a picture!" I said suddenly as we stopped walking to take my phone out of my purse. Blake's hand left my shoulder to give me some space to search for my phone, but yet not completely letting go of me either as his hand came to rest on my back.

I entered my code and went to my camera. As I reached my arm up to snap a picture of the two of us, I saw Blake move his arms around my neck and place a soft kiss on my cheek that left me with butterflies. I took a few pictures before going to snapchat as well and taking another picture on there as well. Blake had told me how I used to be obsessed with the app because it showed my fans how much I cared about them even more. So I started using it a few days ago, but hadn't posted a picture of Blake yet. So the fans were clueless about how the two of us were handling the memory loss and stuff, considering we had stayed out of the spotlight for a while as well. But considering that we're a so called 'hollywood' couple, everyone did find out about my memory loss and all of that. So knowing that the fans must be dying to get some more information about the two of us, I snapped a quick picture of the two of us, with both our happy faces at the sunset. Him not kissing my cheek this time, but yet his face slightly touching mine. Considering I had recently also started to use my twitter again, I had seen how many people that were rooting for us. So I know they'd be freaking out soon. I giggled a little at the thought of that before simply posting it like that, without a caption.

"I haven't told you, you look extra handsome tonight",  I dared to say as I wrapped my arms around his waist after putting my phone away. "Handsome? Yes!" he acted all goofy while his hands went to my face. A moment later he kissed me. A short, tender kiss that warmed up my entire body. When our lips separated after a few seconds I smiled. God, this  is the happiest I've ever been, I'm for sure.

"You said we went here as well on our first date, right?" I saw Blake nod.

"So tell me," I said while my fingers started to play with the bottoms of his shirt. "Did we kiss here for the first time?" I locked eyes with the beautiful cowboy who determined shook his head with his lips pursed together.

"Not even close", he started laughing, showing those damn dimples of his while his hand was rubbing over my back. "You made it quite difficult for me, beautiful." He let out an adorable chuckle while raising an eyebrow.

"I did?" I asked genuinely surprised, because look at this man. He only had to show his dimples at me once or I fall in love even a little more. He let out an humming noise.

"This was the first place I finally had the guts to slowly reach for your hand though", my smile grew bigger at his admission as he stroke some of my hairs behind my ear. After that he wrapped his arm around my waist again as we went further with our walk.

"And God I was so frightened that you would freak out back then", I giggled while leaning into his chest. "because I was so into you and even though you had said yes to going on a date with me, I still wasn't really sure how you felt about me yet."

"I'm sure I had already fallen for you as well", I said as I smiled at him.

"Well I guessed so as well after you agreed on a second date later on." He winked at me which made those butterflies return again. I threw him a smile before looking down at our bare feet, walking through the sea and the sand. Loving the feeling of his arm around me and the cold water reaching my feet.

"When did we kiss then?" I grinned as I saw him smile at the memory, whishing I could share the memory.

"Well, we had already been on three dates, when I got a text from you asking me whether I was also coming to one of Pharrell's parties. Originally I wasn't planning on going, but considering you asked me I completely changed my mind." I giggled at his silliness.

"So at that party I eventually found you calling with your nanny about Kingston having some belly aches, which meant you were planning on heading out already pretty soon. You felt super guilty, because you knew I came just for you. And that's when inside the house at the dance floor, the song I Won't Give Up from James Mraz came up, which we could still hear even in the yard. So I asked: "Before you go, can I have your last dance?" on which you beautifully blushed as you took my hand. And somewhere in the middle of our dance, our lips met."

I smiled as it seemed like such a lovely story, but yet I felt a bit of a heavy heart that I did not have any memories of it. Even though I tried to hide my sorrow with a smile, I saw that Blake noticed it. On which he took my hand and led me to the dry sand where he took out his vest and lay it down. When I gave him a confused -but yet amused- look while raising an eyebrow, he just grinned up at me while taking out his phone. After seconds of silence a familiar tune started playing, which I recognized immediately as "I won't Give Up". As soon as he put his Iphone in his shirt pocket, I laughed as he reached out his hand.

"Before you go, can I have your last dance?" He gave me a dimpled smile with his sparkling eyes as I took his hand without hesitating. In a smooth move, he pulled me close to him as my hands came to rest on his chest as his were on my hips. Slowly moving to the music our eyes never left one another. Soon his hands left my waist as our hands fell in one another and he spin me around, leaving me with my back against his chest and his arms crossed over my belly. I giggled at how he was a surprisingly good leader, as he made me turn back towards him in an easy move.

When the refrain began again, we were in the same position we started in. And when the part of:

'we got a lot to learn but God knows we're worth it', came Blake leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"and now you kissed me", with that I immediately threw my arms around his neck as I pressed my lips on his, feeling him kiss me back right away. Forgetting about the music, about my memory loss, about the whole world. Just feeling our bodies still slightly moving to the music as our kiss deepened without even realising it. The sweet kiss changing into a desperate one filled with love as his hands -right above my as- were pressing me close to him. Feeling his tongue slip in and touch mine as my hands moved up to his face and soon went through his beautiful curls. I felt Blake smile and a little later we ended our kiss by pecking each other a few times on the mouth as I couldn't help but grinning as I wiped my soft pink lipstick off of his lips.

How did I get so lucky with a man like him?

We continued our walk for a little longer as he had put his vest over my shoulder, against the cold of the summer breeze that had come up as the night furthered.


	14. a heart like yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of date night !!!! :D  
> This story is ending soon though, hope yall enjoyed it! Let me know if you did! xo

The sun had fully set when we decided to head back to our car. In silence, with only the light strumming of country music in the background, I stared out of the car window. Looking at the star shining so bright in the black of the night. Simply I smiled. I felt grateful for finding the joy in life again, so I calmly thanked God.

Suddenly I felt Blake's hand cover my knee. I turned my head towards him, meeting his gorgeous blue eyes. Man, they get me every time.

"What's on your mind, beautiful?" He had kept his eyes locked with mine for only a few seconds, as he then changed them back to the road, as the secure driver he is. Me on the other hand, I kept staring at his grey, wavy locks that were out of shape because of the breeze on the beach. Within a matter of seconds, I had placed my hand on top of his, feeling his thumb stroke over the palm of my hand.

"Just absorbing this feeling", I admitted, which made him grin a little, probably because of my rather abstract answer.

"What do you feel then?" He wondered, never taking his eyes off of the road, mastering the wheel with his other free hand. Meanwhile he started moving his hand a little to the side, which made him being able to entwine our fingers.

"I feel -- I feel loved", my hesitation made him turn his head and study my expression. As he probably saw me blushing, as I looked down at our hands, I saw him smirk out of the corner of my eye.

"Well, you are a very lovable woman, I must say", he said, returning his sight to the road once again as he turned onto my driveway. To manoeuvre a little to park the car, he had to used both hands, so I let go of it with a lot of reluctance.

As he had parked, I was gathering my purse as he quickly made his way outside to open my door for me. I thanked him while taking his hand and getting out of the car. As I stood right in front of him I gave him a shy, content smile when I saw his eyes stare down at me with a lot of adoration.

"You staying here right?" I nonchalantly said, to not make an awkward mood at all, as I took his hand, not waiting for his answer to lead him to the front door. Considering Todd had taken the kids to his house for a sleepover.

"I guess I am", he laughed a little.

"Unless you don't want to", I suddenly felt a bit more insecure as I searched for my keys, hiding my face a little. I had already kind of expected it, when I felt his hand under my chin. Moving my face up towards his.

"Gwen, of course I want to", he said as he was searching for my gaze while bending his head down a bit.  He chuckled a little, as a smile appeared on my face.

"Good"

\---

"I seriously can't make up what you're saying, honey", I heard Blake chuckle from the other end of the door. Quickly I spit out my toothpaste in the washstand, taking a few more sips from the water, before opening the bathroom door.

"I asked whether you wanted to brush your teeth as well, we have some new ones here", I heard him walk in behind me as I opened one of the bathroom closets searching for them.

"That'd be nice, yeah", when I found an unused one, I turned around in a brisk movement, immediately facing my man. I tried my hardest to hide my startled attitude, when I suddenly noticed Blake only wearing his underpants. As my "innocent" eyes obviously had noticed the rather big hump, I couldn't help myself from blushing while quickly moving my eyes up on his body. All he did was letting out a huge chuckle while taking the toothbrush from me.

"Thank you", he said while pulling up a brow, trying to hold back his amusement. As I stood in the bathroom right next to Blake, each at a washstand, it's a simple thing. But yet, never has anything that simple made me this happy.

While he was brushing his teeth, I was going with a comb through my hairs, trying to get rid of all the knots that had formed themselves in my hairs. The entire time that he was brushing his teeth, he kept luring his eyes at me, through the bathroom mirror. Still with that amused, mischievous smile. Considering I noticed him luring, did make me realise I had been doing the exact same.

When I was still trying to get control over my hair, Blake had already finished brushing his teeth. Instead of leaving the bathroom, he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and placed a soft kiss on my neck.

"Let me help you", he ended up saying while taking the comb out of my hand as he began to slightly go through my hairs. Being experienced and all, he placed his hand on right on top of my head, on the hairs he was brushing, preventing from hurting me. It took another minute before my fingers could easily go through my hairs again.

Blake had putted the comb down as he took my hairs in his hand and planted it over one of my shoulders. Seeing him standing behind me, made the height difference even more obvious, which made me giggle a little bid. He quickly placed a smooth kiss on top of my other shoulder while his hands stroke over my shoulders.

Hesitantly I stayed put in the bathroom, as he rested his chin on my shoulder for over a second  while we locked eyes through the mirror. Shyly I was a bit hesitant as Blake kept on staring at me with his comforting, sweet smile. It's when he took a step away from me eventually that he reached out to open one of the closets, reaching for a small bottle.

Make-up remover.

He simply handed it to me while kissing me one more time on my sleep. Without saying a words, he walked out of the bathroom and disappeared out of my sight. I looked down at the make-up remover and let out a small giggle. It still amazes me how good he knows me, still being left surprised from time to time that we've already went through all of this. So without much effort I took a cotton wool and wiped away all of my make-up.

Even though he almost literally took all of it off himself, yet I still felt insecure about actually walking in the bedroom. Because for him, it might not to be something new. But for me, it's just difficult to show myself to someone else but my family without any make-up.

Lightly I cracked the door open as I slowly made my way out. Blake was already sitting under the covers, sitting up against the back of the bed, scrolling on his phone. "People are going crazy over your photo", he said without even paying any attention to the make-up change, which made me feel way more comfortable already. When I suddenly remembered how he had been teasing me with his underpants the other minute, I decided to take him back on it. So instead of taking my nightdress and head back to the bathroom, I crossed my arms around my waist and took my dress of right there before answering.

"oh really are they?" I asked while walking up to a chair near the bed -in just my lingeri to put the dress down and pick my nightdress up.

"Yeah they ar-" he swallowed his words in when his eyes had finally wondered off from his screen to me. I felt his eyes burn over my body which made me grin at him. "They are yes", he eventually tried to compose himself. Nonchalantly I picked up my night dress now and made eye contact with the cowboy.

"Nothing you haven't seen before, right?" I dared to say eventually which made him let out a shy chuckle as well as I saw him lightly blush.

"No matter how many times, you'll always take my breath away", he winked at me. After I had thrown the nightdress over my head, I quickly took my bra out from under it -to tease him even more- and then I pulled myself under the covers next to him. As I was under the covers as well, Blake immediately put his phone away and went to lay down. Stretching his arm out, offering me to cuddle up to him, which I did.

I put the back of my head against my neck, looking up to my cowboy's face who's gazing at me.

"God, you're so beautiful", it sounded so sincere, so true. I had never heard anyone say such a thing and mean it so much. Especially knowing that he didn't even meant to say it, that it just flapped out, made it even more special. Even more considering I wasn't wearing any touch of make up any longer. Out of a reflex, I started tearing up a bit, which made an even softer smile appear on his lips. Instead of what I always do, to kiss him, I just looked at him.

"I like you, Blake", I said, which seemed to surprise him a little. "I really, really like you, so much that it frightens me sometimes. But then you look at me with those eyes of yours like they are looking at me right now and I forget what I'm talking about already. "

Blake seemed to be startled and moved by my sudden admission as he just kept on staring a little as his hand on my back kept on making small circles. As he kept quiet for over ten seconds, he pushed me closer to him.

"How could a heart like yours ever like a heart like mine?"

A tear rolled over my cheek as he said those exact words. My arms made their way around his neck as I pressed my lips on his. Out of the few kisses we had already shared -that I remembered- this one was the one I felt the most committed. I titled my lips off of his to place a few kisses over his head, which left him laughing. Ending up back on top of his lips and deepening it immediately.

I couldn’t get enough of him. I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to just cuddle up to him and feel his strong arms wrapped around me as I dozed off. Not now anyway. I wanted an ache, I wanted him. Him inside me. Feeling the weight of his body on top of me, squeezing him further and further. I flipped my leg over him, practically sitting on top of him as my lips never left his.

My hands were touching his chest as my nails lightly stroke over him. I straddled him a little. Pushing myself a bit up, being obligated to leave his lips. My hair was loose, hanging forward, hiding parts of my face, except my eyes that were still clearly being able to look at his bright eyes. I kept my eyes focused on his, filled with adoration and lust. And then I made the decision. I crossed my arms and pulled the nightdress over my head and put it down somewhere beside us. Leaving me in only my underpants, sitting on top of him.

Blake's eyes carefully left mine to admire my body. His hand moving from the small of my back a bit higher up, yet not touching my breast.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen", he said in a whisper. In a way I believed him. As I moved down again, already missing his lips on mine already. But before my lips could touch his, he stopped me. "Are you sure about this?" Instead of answering, I just grinned while I moved down and placed my mouth on top of his. Immediately he kissed me back, even though he mumbled in between our kisses some more.

"'Cause if you're not ready, then we don't have to-" I put my tongue in his throat, which quietened him as his arms pulled me even more on top of him, feeling my boobs touch his chest. To end up our kiss, I slowly bit his lip a little, which left him smirking innocently. My hands then moved to his underpants, as I slowly started to stripping it off. He helped me a little as his feet ended up trapping it off completely. Same happened pretty soon with my panties.

He stroke my hair out of my face then, putting it behind my ear, as I nervously beam at him with a big smile. His hands then moved to my face, stroking his fingers over my cheeks a few times. After all his questions, he still was very hesitant, even though the lust in his eyes betrayed him big time. He's such a gentleman.

"I'm ready", I reassured him one more time, which left also him smile up at me as he moved his head up towards me, as I leaned in and met him halfway. His strong and gentle hands began to stroke me, his hands, his lips, his tongue. Very gentle but not frightening. Knowing what he was doing and what was about to happen. I felt my nipples rise, and it startled me. He rolled us over.

I opened my eyes to look at him, to catch a glimpse of what was coming next. When suddenly I felt his a finger against my clit, slowly rubbing it a little, making me gasp and arch my back. In a circling motion, he continued to move, making my body react along with his movements and a few whimpers left my mouth. He continued to tease my body and play along with it.

Out of nowhere I felt him shove two fingers inside me, making me yelp out. At first they stayed quiet there as I then felt his fingers started to move in and out, finding a rhythm. Just when I was already driving crazy from just his fingers, I also felt his tongue on my clit. My body started to shake.

"Blake", I started to moan his name. As if on cue, he knew exactly what I needed, as at first he started to move his fingers even slower to suddenly build up and go faster and faster. As I couldn't control the pleasure, I kept on moaning his name.  My hands that had moved through his hairs, now lightly tried to pull his head up. "I need you, Blake", I managed to get out, as his eyes locked with mine. He smirked as he brought his lips to mine, feeling his fingers pull out of me slowly and painfully, but oh so good.

It's then I felt his penis poke into me. No longer being able to wait, it didn't take long before he slid into me, feeling him fill me completely.

Once he was inside me, there was a sharp brief pain. Accompanied by the sweetness and the perfect feeling, I began a slow rotation of my hips. His erection grew larger and harder. It was the strangest sensation, something that went beyond simple sexual pleasure. I closed my eyes as he massaged my breasts, my stomach, my legs. My exactly-manicured nails stroking over his back. Eventually impossible for me to know if it’s him moving or if it's me doing it myself.

He drove himself harder into me as I was moaning with pleasure. He kept on, slowing himself, not wanting this to end just yet. But teasing me as I wanted him to move faster. He pushed my knees up higher. I felt I was almost there and so was he. I moaned his names a few more times.

"What is it, beautiful?" He said, as he teasingly stopped moving all together, and just felt his noise slowly against mine. "I need you--", I felt him start to move a again now, in a slow pattern, as he smirked, which made me laugh a little as well. Slowly building the rhythm up.

When suddenly the pressure took over again and I could feel my body shivering. I heard Blake's whimpers escapes his lips as well in between our kisses, accompanied with the slamming of our bodies. I started yelling out his name louder and louder, the faster he went.

"Faster", I begged at the very end, which made him slam into me all at once, as he slowly pulled out and slammed into me again. A single tear leaving my eyes from pleasure, until he couldn't help it himself any longer and his trusts started to become less ryhtmic and I felt my entire body shivering.

"Cum for me", is all I heard right before I screamed out Blake's name and I felt him spill inside me.

My body rested on top of his as both of us were trying to catch our breathes. I felt Blake's beating of his heart start to slow down as I placed a kiss on top of his chest. Not being able to stop smiling and when I looked at Blake, I just know he felt the exact same.

I giggled before pulling myself up a little to peck him a few more times on the lips. Still feeling the beating of his heart feeling from my hand resting on his chest made me let out a happy sight.

"How could a heart like **yours** ever like a heart like **mine**?" I said now while placing a kiss on his heart, leaving him chuckling.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is ending soon though, hope yall enjoyed it! Let me know if you did! xo


	15. Die a Happy Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most likely only two more chapters after this one, be prepared for it to end! Hope you enjoyed the ride so far!  
> This chapter is named after a song from Thomas Rhett -which is also mentioned in this chapter- considering Nore and I are going to his concert in two weeks, eek!! Can't wait! xo Noor

The doorbell rang. I grunted a little by the sudden, unexpected noise, as my hand pressed Gwen her body closer to mine. After what felt like a few seconds of Gwen's sleepy sounds, she suddenly jumped up. Causing me to get almost a heart attack.

"God, babe, what's up?" I said as my body set straight up only a second after hers, wiping the sleep out of my eyes.

"The doorbell!" She yelped out while pointing at the clock on her nightstand, which told me it was a little over eight pm. As my half asleep self and my yet not recovered heart was puzzling it together, my eyes widened.

"We forgot to put our alarm", I stated as I saw Gwen jump up and down while trying to put on one of her skinny jeans, almost tripping as she was rushing herself. Todd was bringing he boys back over at eight, shit. Seeing her in such a haste made me quickly get out of bed as well while reaching for my jeans. "What do we do?" Gwen asked in a rather whisper, considering we just had heard the front door unlock, with Todd's key.

"They'll know that you stayed over", Gwen sounded a bit in panic as she went with her hands through her hair. I just decided to give her a thoughtful, questioning look while bringing up one brow.

"Oh yeah, right, we've been through that before", she rapidly made out while shaking her head a bit puzzled while she let out a nervous laugh. I smirked back, considering this situation was so recognizable to one we had almost a year ago. When I stayed over as well and suddenly the doorbell rang unexpected at early in the morning. Both of us obviously started freaking out back then, considering no one knew about us yet.

"Follow me down once you're ready", she eventually said.

Gwen had just quickly walked out the room, hearing her footsteps race off the stairs, frightening me she'll actually fall off it. "Hi sweeties", I heard her voice say downstairs as the boys shouted back, probably hugging her to death. "I'm sorry, just was--um--busy upstairs", she hesitated while explaining to her brother. Meanwhile I was putting on my jeans and trying to fix my hair a bit.

"That's fine, sis. So Apollo here made a drawing and I must say it's incredibly beautiful", Todd's voice.

"Did you?" Gwen was using her high, adorable mommy voice which was followed by the cutest giggle from the sweetest toddler. My heart melted by just hearing it, realising how badly I have missed that little cowboy. I need to get downstairs as soon as possible. But damn it, where in hell is that shirt?

As I was laying flat on my belly, looking under the bed, searching for it, I suddenly saw the image of Gwen before me from just a minute ago. Blond, beautiful messy hair, blue jeans, flannel shirt.

Flannel shirt.

She must've got cold through the night and pulled it on. Oh God. I took my phone out of my pocket and sent her a text with on it: "I need my shirt, baby girl."

The voices had put down a bit, so I assumed they all went to the living room. It only took a few minutes before I heard Gwen's laughter get bigger with something someone had said, as she walked back in the hallway to eventually ran up the stairs.

When she entered her room again, seeing me stand there in my bare chest, hands on my tides, she burst out in laughter. Of course, me laughing along as her beautiful smile is contagious as always.

"Seriously, this is gonna be so awkward", Gwen said as she took out my shirt and threw it back at me, followed by her moving to her closet. Picking out a shirt of her own. "Have you told them I'm here yet?" She shook her head while laughing out loud again as I was putting on my shirt.

"I mean, how do I say that? This is new for me Blake", Gwen said in between her laughter as her hand fell on top of her mouth. I showed off my dimples, making my way down at her. Planting my arms around her waist hastily and pecking her on the lips.

"Good morning, by the way", Gwen said then while returning a peck on my lips and me giving her a playful wink.

"If you want to, I can hang out here 'till he's gone." I suggested, trying to lighten the mood and get rid of her nerves. But she immediately shook her head and told me that that wouldn't be necessary.

"We didn't do anything wrong. It's just gonna be a bit awkward that's all."

So with that we made our ways downstairs, her hand in mine as we walked off the stairs, but unlocking once we entered the living room. All eyes were already focused on the door when Gwen opened it, probably having heard the extra pair of footsteps on the stairs.

The three boys shouted out the second I poked my head in the room, soon feeling all the tiny arms make their way around me. I hugged them back right away, avoiding the confused but probably also amused look from Todd.

"Well Blake, I didn't know you were here as well", I made eye contact with Todd while beaming at him.

"It was kind of late last night so -- well--"

"-- I didn't want him to drive back home alone so late", Gwen added, saving me out of my blurry words and my frowning head.

"It's literally one street away", Todd smirked very amused, as he clearly wasn't letting it go that easily.

"Still," Gwen just said while lightly squinting her eyes at her brother for hearing them out in front of her kids. Who were too young to understand, well except for Kingston maybe. But he wasn't really paying attention.

As I stood up from my crutched down position from hugging the boys, I saw Todd hide his face in one of his hands as he started laughing a little. When I gave him one more question look while grinning at him, he just ended up shaking his head. Probably considering Gwen had given him a warning look. Eventually Todd just said: "That's a really nice shirt, bro."

And with that, all had been said. Obviously he had seen it on his sister only a few minutes ago, so he had prove enough to make up his statement. I grinned back at him, letting him know I knew exactly what he meant by that phrase as Gwen just blushed and ignored the whole thing. Meanwhile I walked up at Gwen who had Apollo on her lap, as he was reaching his tiny arms out from me.

"Hi bubba", I took him out of her lap and he nuzzled himself on my immediately, throwing his arms over my shoulders.

"Blakey", he giggled, making my heart fill with joy.

\----

"It's so funny that you and Adam were wearing the exact same thing", Gwen said as she pointed to a picture of us from Halloween last year, the night she was dressed as a ballerina. One of the things the two of us have in common is that we're old fashioned in some ways. One of them was photo books. I loved them so much and Gwen always made sure her favourite pictures were printed, so she could keep them all together.

"Behati took so many pictures that night, it's crazy", I said while handing her a cup of tea, which she gladly took.

"Uncle Adam was really drunk that night, right?" I saw Kingston ask that question directly to Gwen, forgetting about her memory loss for a small second. Happens to the best of us, but the moment Kingston realised, his face changed as I saw a layer of quilt appear. As fast as I could, I took over.

"He was at the end. He paid the prise for the next day though", I answered Kingston honestly, which left all of us chuckle. Adam had been the fun uncle to them for the last years, the one with the funny stories about the stupid things he had done throughout his life. Leaving all three of the boys adore him and laugh none stop at his stories. So he probably had told some from last Halloween as well.

Kingston still looked a bit sad for his mom, but Gwen leaned in and placed a soft kiss on the top of his head, while smiling at her oldest. Making him feel alright again as I turned the page and was met by all kinds of new photos.

"Betty!" Apollo shouted from on my lap as he saw a picture of me on a lousy morning, still curled up in bed while the dog was licking all over my face.

"Oh cool! That was on July the fourth, when we got that Super Mamble from you!" Zuma shouted now while pointing at a picture from all five of us along with Todd and Stella on that boat. Gwen smiled brightly up at that picture as she traced her finger over where I was sitting in my hawaii shirt with the little giggles on my lap, also in his hawaii shirt on.

"We should do that again sometime", Kingston said firmly as he smiled, thinking back on that day.

Apollo was starting to get a little fuzzy, indicating he probably was a bit hungry. Considering he didn't want to eat at lunch time. So I stood up and told Gwen I would take care of him, that she should just enjoy the photos some more.

I put Apollo in his chair and went to pick out his food, all while humming a certain country tune that got stuck inside my head. Once I found the food, I walked back up at the little guy, who was happily excited as he kept on saying his cowboy 'yeee-hawww'. I chuckled.

Thank God for this life.

When I saw Apollo some of the food, I kept on humming that same song, which seemed to calm him down. Considering he had been hyper all day long, probably Todd's fault, giving him too many sweets. Well, I don't blame him, can't deny the kid anything either.

I heard some parts of the conversation from out of living room, mostly Kingston giving background stories on some of the pictures. Such as when she was radio disney's hero and Pharrell got to give her the trophy, then a picture from me on the swing as Denis was pushing me. Kingston explained it was to show Apollo that he shouldn't be scared of swings, that it actually was pretty nice. Another one of all of us on a rollercoaster on disneyland. And how he told Gwen that it was my first time going there, like ever. Which left Gwen being all shocked as she said she didn't believe him. I chuckled from out of the kitchen.

Meanwhile Apollo had just started playing with his food instead of eating it, so I took it away and putted his plate and spoon in the dishwasher. I quickly snapped my head up when I heard Apollo hum the country tune. Leaving Apollo giggle, as my surprised expression seemed to be exactly what he wanted to accomplish. So I hummed along while picking him up and moving a little to our humming.

"What song are you two humming?" I suddenly heard, coming from behind me. Seeing Gwen stand there, watching us with a big smile on her face.

"Die A Happy Man by Thomas Rhett", I answered the pretty girl while walking up towards her, handing her the happy toddler.

"I love the tune to it", Gwen said with a soft smile before nuzzling into her baby's neck and kissing him on his cheeks thousands of time, pulling him down afterwards.

" Baby, last night was hands down one of the best nights that I've had -- no doubt", I sang the first beginning of the first stanza of the song to her. She burst out in laughter, as I obviously emphasised on the 'no doubt' part. She shook her head at my silliness while smiling.

"You're crazy, Blakey"

"If I never get to see the Northern lights or if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower at night. If all I got is your hand in my hand, baby, I could die a happy man." I kept on singing in between placing a few kisses in her neck, leaving her giggle. Her arms were strongly wrapped around my neck.

"Wow, those lyrics..." she said eventually, right before I noticed a pair of those chocolate brown eyes stare at us. My lost attention made also Gwen look over her shoulder, to find her oldest child standing in the door opening of the kitchen. Gwen her arms immediately became a bit loser, creating a small gab between us, but not letting go completely though.

"That's a beautiful song." Kingston just said eventually, with his happy expression on his face, which made me even happier. I can't believe that he actually is that excited to see us back together like this.

"I can play that song on the guitar as well", I said.

"That's so cool." Kingston said, as he was really in awe.

 Meanwhile he quickly passed us as he took a glass to fill it with some water and then return to the living room. All that while smiling happily, but also a bit shyly, realising he interrupted a moment. But also not feeling the slightest regret. I love that kid.

"I'll play it for you, someday"

"I'd love that." She answered. I winked at her while taking her hand in mine, walking back to our family, to look at some more of those great pictures, immediately being introduced to Kingston's voice while pointing to a picture of Gwen and Adam at the emmys.

"Look! Here, mom said Col **bert** instead of cold bear!"  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most likely only two more chapters after this one, be prepared for it to end! Hope you enjoyed the ride so far!


	16. patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the very last chapter of this series and also the longest one. Hope u enjoyed it, make sure to comment and let me know if you did! ;)

I had been hiding behind the garden house with my water gun, as I slowly poked my head from behind the garden house, peeking for one of the small bodies or the extremely huge one to move around.

"Got ya!" I suddenly heard that southern accent from behind me, feeling a stream of water reach my back. I screamed out from both me getting a scare and from the ice cold water running down on my back. Quickly I had jumped up and ran away, exposing myself now completely. No longer being covered by the shield that was the garden house. Instead now I ran in the garden as fast as I could, seeing even more bodies jump out from behind trees and bushes.

I turned around, trying my hardest to run backwards without falling and aiming my water gun on Blake and hitting him a few times even. Blake seemed to slow down a bit as Kingston also started aiming at him, to which Blake had turned around and aimed on my oldest. Allowing me to disappear between some trees to get my secret weapon. A bucket I had already fully filled in advance and placed it behind the trees.

I had heard Kingston yelp out and run away, probably looking for a good place to hide again. Soon footsteps made their ways closer to where I was hiding, with the bucket in my hands.

"Gwen, sweetie, where did you go?" Blake said with his mysterious, teasing voice, probably having his water gun ready to shoot. I tried to hold back my giggles when I saw Zuma hide even further in the back as he looked at me with a big grin. Realising what my plan was.

I could feel Blake getting closer and closer towards the trees I was hiding behind. Seeing his bare feet making their way towards the tree, probably guessing I was behind them, made me hold my breath.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are", His singing voice now right behind the trees. As on cue, I heard Zuma make an obvious noise, exposing his hiding place. Blake chucked, as he turned around and I heard him follow the noises. I saw my chance.

I jumped from behind the trees and toppling the bucket, throwing  all the water over Blake's hair and back. He didn't let out a sound as he just stopped to dead. I shouted in his place as I quickly made my way behind him.

"You shouldn't have done that." He chuckled as he let go of his water gun and ran behind me. I couldn't stop crying out, making the boys burst out in laughter. Obviously it didn't take long before he caught up with me and one of his arms went around my waist. I laughed when he titled up my body and threw me over his shoulder, as if I weighted nothing.

"Blake no! Put me down!" I cried out, while swinging my legs. Blake had started tickling my tights, which made me unable to talk any longer. All I did was laugh as even some tears streamed down on my cheeks.

The kids were gathering around us now as well as Blake was walking the both of us towards the garden shower. I kept on swinging my legs as both of us were laughing big time. After a few more second he dropped me off of his shoulder, as I didn't let go of him, throwing my legs around him. I felt the cold water streams fall on top of my shoulders and on my messy bun.

I cried out from the cold water, as I saw Blake's amused grin, as also him was basically under the shower, considering I had thrown my legs around him. The kids were applauding Blake as my hair was drenched. When I stopped yelling out, the kids lost interest as they simply continued their water fight, running to the back of the garden once again. So I kissed his lips the second they were out of sight. I felt him smirk in our kiss, as he let go of my legs and I was standing next to him now. He lightly deepened the kiss, as I opened my lips to let our tongues meet for just a few seconds. After that I simply pecked him on the lips once more, before walking away from the shower, taking his hand in mine. Walking with entwined hands to the back of the yard, meeting the boys.

\----

As the both of us were sitting on the pool loungers, Blake was strumming a tune on his guitar that I seemed to recognize by now. "Die A Happy Man". The kids were playing a little further in the back on the trampoline, when the sun was starting to set. Blake started singing the chorus of the song Die a Happy Man, which made me move a little in the rhythm of the song. I beamed up at him, realising how beautiful of a man he is once again.

"God I wish I could play that guitar just like you", I said when he finished playing. "You make it seem so easy."

He smirked proudly, showing me his dimples. Suddenly he stood up, and walked up to the lounger I was sitting on. When I gave him a confused, yet amused look, he placed his guitar on my lap as he threw one of his legs over the lounger, sitting behind me. As I sat the exact same way.

"Let me teach you." Was all he said, when I felt his chin rest on my shoulder, looking over at his guitar on my lap. His chest was pressed against my back, when I felt his hands adjust the way I should hold it a little. He then took my right hand in his and showed me the first few notes on the guitar.

"First you go D ---" He placed my fingers over the strings for a first time, making me giggle a little. "Third, bottom and ring", he said, as he explained how my fingers from my left hand should be. Truly, I tried my hardest to listen, but all I thought was how the warmth of his breath against my neck hypnotised me. And feeling his chest lean on my back wasn't helping.

"First you pitch on the first string, up on that second and stop", I tried to do what he asked me to, which left both of us chuckle a little, as he took over to show me. I looked intensely, as eventually it was my turn again, and I did exactly what he showed me to. "Yeah, that's it!" He sounded enthusiastic, which left me giggling a little, while my head slowly tilted my head, touching his. 

"Then you go B minor." Meanwhile he kept on explaining me what he was doing while saying a few times: "down, down, up and down."

We spent more than a half hour, trying to teach me like the first four notes and how to combine them all. I giggled, as he laughed with me making the same mistake every single time. He kept being patient though, as he kept showing me the same thing, making me understand it a little better with every time he showed me.

"I'm hopeless", I sighted eventually, before laughing again. He chuckled as well while shaking his head.

"You're not, baby! Everyone starts this way", he said nonchalantly, while placing a kiss in my neck. It brought me back to a long time ago, when Gavin wanted to teach me as well. It already began way less romantic as he just sat in front of me and kept a rather big distance. And he ended up getting frustrated and agreeing that it was nothing for me.

So my heart filled with joy to see Blake encourage me and patiently helping me as he kept lovable as always, kissing my neck. I turned my head towards him shyly, meeting his eyes.

"You ok?" He said, when he saw my eyes getting a bit teary, as he picked up his guitar from my lap, placing it down beside us. I nodded immediately, reassuring him, as he frowned concerned.

"It's just-- you are such a beautiful person", he gave me a small smile, but he got even more confused.

"And that makes you tear up? Baby, I don't want to see you cry", he said as turned me around, letting me face him. "I'm sorry"

"hey,", his hand met my chin, making our eyes meet.  "why are you apologizing?" His hand then went to my cheek as he wiped away a tear that had fallen down on it. A brief smile appeared on my face then, as I leaned in to his touch.

"I just-- I'm sorry for what I put you through last months--"

"--don't do this to yourself, Gwen, you shouldn't--"

"No please, let me." I swallowed then while taking his hand in mine.

"I know it's not my fault, it's no ones. But still, I'm so sorry for putting you through such a thing. It must've hurt you so much."

"It did." He said then, while he entwined his fingers with mine. "But then again, it brought me to this exact moment. Here with you and those beautiful boys of yours. And I wouldn't change it for the world."

I smiled up at him, while moving our entwined hands to my face and kiss the back of his hand. When I met his ocean blue eyes again, my heart filled with something that felt so good, but at the same time was frightening as hell. As much as I couldn't believe that he'd actually be my boyfriend when I saw him when I woke up out of that coma, as much as I could no longer imagine my life without him now. Without him here, spending the day with my boys playing water games, making us food, teaching me how to play guitar. Just in generally filling my heart with...

"I love you."

Blake's eye widened, as he pulled his eyebrows up, clearly not expecting it. My words were strong and clear, but instead on the inside, it scared the crap out of me. Blake's startled expression luckily soon changed into a joyful one, before placing his hands on my cheeks.

"I love you, too."

Suddenly a rush of emotions hit me, as I not only was relieved to hear him say it back, but also because flashes shoot through my head.

_"Welcome to the world, Apollo Bowie Flynn Rossdale", I say in total aw while Gavin sits next to me hugging me while the both lg us held our newborn close to my chest. The baby already having a few brown hairs on top his head. God he's so beautiful_

_\---- **"Gwen!"**_

_"hey Gavin. I just seriously got an e-mail from Adam Levine, saying that I should totally do the voice. That I can ask him anything I want and he'll tell me the truth. Wow he seems so sweet!" I say being in total aw as I keep on staring at the e-mail._

_"Who?" Gavin simply asks meanwhile playing a game on his phone._

_"Adam Levine," I repeat, looking up at my husband who keeps on staring at his phone, not showing any sign of recognition. "You know, from Maroon 5, judge on the voice? The show I was asked to be a coach on?"_

_"Oh yeah, him", he says, even though I'm convinced he barely heard a word I just said._

_"Maybe I should do it, you know? The voice, I mean?" That makes him look up from his screen for just a second. Not longer than that though._

_"Yeah maybe", he shrugs as he quickly returned to his game, as if it wasn't talking about something important as taking an actual job._

_"I'm gonna do it." I state now._

_\----_ **"You ok? Gwen?!"**

_"Hi, I'm Blake, the country guy. You must be Gwen. You look wonderful", He sounds nervous as I shake his hand while blushing._

_\----_ **"Oh my God, honey!"**

_"So Endless love... It's a chance in the thousand to do a duet with me, the king of country. You won't get it again soon. Enjoy it." He winks as I laugh with his stupid joke_

_"I feel honoured", I say while playfully giving him a push._

_"I'm the honoured one, if we're being honest here", he adds nonchalantly and so down to earth, which makes me grin._

_\----_ **"Blake, what happened?"**

_"So Blake and you obviously hadn't met yet?" Carson asks while we're doing an interview for the voice season seven_

_"Odd, isn't it?" Blake chuckles directly to me, as I go along in the teasing mood_

_"Who is he?" I ask while pointing at the cowboy, which leaves him chuckling badly._

_"She's not quite sure who he is yet", Adam jokes, letting Blake's chuckle even increase, as I just enjoy the sound of happiness._

_\----_ **"King, I really don't know, she suddenly just passed out"**

_"I would probably also pick Gwen if I was standing up there", I hear Blake say as we were watching the tapes we made as we talked about one another. I give him a grateful smile as he just locked eyes with me and I probably blush. Man, he's really amazing._

_\----_ **"Gwen? Can you hear me?"**

_"Are you ready, you still not ready? You thinking about it? I'm gonna do it real fast ok?" Blake asks as he stands there, with a bucket right above my head as I sit down. I told him I was thinking about it indeed as he started throwing the ice cold water over me._

_"You're not getting it on my head", I say as he immediately start to throw the water over my head as well. I cried out._

_\----_ **"Is she still breathing?"**

_"Knock knock", I catch a glance of Blake standing in the doorframe, waiting for me to allow him in my trailer._

_"Come in, cowboy", my voice sounds enthusiastic, or that's at least when I'm trying for it to sound like. "The boys and I are going to get a drink, to forget about the great contestants we had to let go tonight, so you wanna tag along?" He strolls through my trailer a little more before meeting my eyes._

_God I wish I could. But things aren't going great between Gavin and I right now, so I really shouldn't be staying out later than expected, he would freak. So even though I could really use it right now, after having to disappoint so many great artists in the Knockout, I end up shaking my head._

_"I really have to watch the kids", I lie, considering the kids are with Gavin already anyway. They don't need two parents every night._

_"Oh, ok", Blake answers calmly but yet not being able to hide his frown, as he knew I wasn't telling the truth. We aren't that close, not at all, but since the day I met him, there has been this connection somehow. So one way or another, he just knew. He turns around while shaking a bit awkwardly goodbye._

_"God, Blake, wait, I'm sorry." I wince at him as he turns around raising a brow._

_"For what?" he pretends to not know a thing._

_"I just... Gavin and I have been fighting for weeks, even while taping the battles... I just don't think he'll like it if I go out with you three right now..." All of a sudden, I opened up my heart to the cowboy standing right in front of me. I sight, which makes him walk closer to me._

_"Don't apologize then, I get it. Trust me." He says, sounding true and honest, which makes me worried that the perfect life of the queen and king of country wasn't that perfect as they made everyone believe after all._

_Now he places his hand on top of my shoulder, as I'm still sitting with my back towards him, making eye contact through the mirror, and I shiver a little from the unexpected touch._

_"It's ok to work on your marriage. But don't let him define you. You're too special for that." I raise my hand up to his on my shoulder, as he squeezed my shoulder lightly before leaving me. Alone in my trailer, lost in my thoughts._

_\----_ **"Yes, her breathing seems just fine"**

_"I'm just a girl!" I scream to the auditions, who were going crazy, trying to impress a contestant. All three of my colleagues are staring at me while laughing._

_"I was having to check myself, I thought I was just a girl", Blake says, sounding in awe and impressed, making me laugh along with the others. Feeling good about myself and about my stage presence._

_\----_ **"Kingston, go get my phone, please"**

_"When I was your age, that's when I started listening to her records and they were good", Adam teases as I opened my mouth in shock. He immediately jumps up regretful and wraps his arms around me. "I'm so sorry!"_

_"I was starting to like you", I say, sounding hurt and startled, making the cowboy let out his low chuckle from two chairs away._

_\----_ **"Here, Blake, your phone"**

_"So I brought you a coffee, because it seems like you can use it", Blake forces a coffee in my hand which startles me a little at first. Ending up giving him a grateful smile._

_"Things are going better between you and Gavin already?" He asks nonchalantly, making my stomach flip at the thought of the fight I had with Gavin this morning. I sip my coffee while honestly shaking my head._

_"But they will be, eventually, right?" I dare to look Blake in the eye who simply shrugs._

_"That's what I keep on telling myself anyway", he sounds bitter as he let out a sarcastic laugh._

_"So... Miranda?" I ask hesitantly, taking another sip._

_"Yeah, she's just-- she's so cold sometimes. Like figural. It's as if she never really wants me there", he says, puzzling his thoughts, sounding confused and hurt. I reach for his hands, which he takes._

_"I'm sorry she's like that sometimes", I mean it. He just nods gratefully as he clearly seems to appreciate my support._

_After that the both of us walk on stage, starting another round of the lives._

_\----_ **"911, what's your emergency?"**

_"They have to take you back for season nine, I have never had so much fun", Blake says as he hugged me tight. I embrace him right back while putting my head on his shoulder._

_"I'm gonna miss you", I say as I let go of him and simply smile a bit sadly. "We're gonna keep in contact, though, right?" I ask on which he nods enthusiastic._

_"No doubt", he jokes one last time which makes me smile even brighter while I take in his face one last time, before leaving the building and seeing him for the last time for who knows how long._

_\----_ **"My girlfriend suddenly fainted out of the blue."**

_I suddenly feel my legs get heavier, to eventually not feel anything at all. Feeling my heart fill with sorrow as my knees are touching the ground. The sounds of my sobs all I could possibly hear, but that's not true either. I didn't feel anything, I didn't hear anything, I didn't do anything but feeling my heart break in then thousand pieces. When after a few seconds of uncontrollably sobbing, I look around me, I see glass all around me, from the broken screen of the family Ipad._

_"I hate him! I hate him!" I scream into the emptiness of my house, remembering what a cheating bastard my so called husband has been all this years._

_\----_ **"Sir, try to calm down",**

_"Gavin and I are getting a divorce as well", I say right after Blake just asked me whether everything was ok. He looked genuinely surprised, such as most people out of my family, but then again it was different. As if somehow he always knew things hadn't been right between me and Gavin. His hand stroke over my back as he pulls me in for a hug._

_"I'm so sorry Gwen." I let go of a sight, I didn't know I was holding, as I burry my face in his chest._

_"We were gonna keep in touch", I say now, not blaming him, just a statement with even a bit of self quilt in it._

_"I know, I know..." he says, sounding guilty as charged._

**\----"Does she have any illnesses?"**

_"I bought you some flowers", Blake says as he reaches out the bouquet of sunflowers towards me. I smiled brightly as I'm a bit overwhelmed by it. "To welcome you back on the voice." He adds shyly which makes me close the gap between us and hug him close to my chest. We are just about to start filming the first blinds of season nine and for the first time in forever, I don't feel the heavy heart I've carried for months._

_\----_ **"No, but she had a car accident a few months back and had been in a coma for a month"**

_"Gwen?" I hear Blake's voice enter my trailer as I hid my face in my hands, trying to control my sobs. In a second tops, I feel Blake's arms go around my body, embracing me and holding me tight as he whispers that everything will turn out right._

**_\---- "What's your address, sir?"_ **

_"Blake, she's not worth your tears, cowboy", I simply tell him the truth while I hand him a glass of water. Next moment I crouch down, right in front of the couch he's sitting on._

_"Don't hide from me", I say as he had buried his face in his hands. "You can be vulnerable around me, it's ok." So he looks up at me, meeting his broken, hurt eyes which broke my heart. I hate her._

_\----_ **"An ambulance is on its way right now."**

_"Would you like um... Hang out sometimes?" Blake is looking down at his feet while asking the question, before he meets my eyes again. I didn't really know how to act myself, as I just stand still and look at him while biting my lip._

_"I'd love to, yeah. Let's do it sometime", I finally get out after a few seconds of just staring. I smile up at him, trying to lighten the mood, causing him to smile as well. I hear a small sight of relief leave his mouth as I closed the door off my trailer and we walk out together._

_\---_ **"Thank you"**

_We are walking on the beach, with a light summer breeze messing with my hair. After a few seconds of silence and a couple minutes of walking, I suddenly feel a smooth movement of Blake's hand against mine. Carefully and shyly he places his hand in mine, leaving me blushing badly. I could feel the tension between us so badly I'm sure I just felt his pulse from his heart coming through his hand._

_After a couple seconds, he starts talking about how he used to be scared of the sea when he was a toddler, changing the subject. Changing the mood in an easy one as well, making me feel way more comfortable, never wanting to let go of his hand ever again._

_\----_ **"Gwen, sweetie"**

_"So Blake told me that he finally found the guts to take you out", Adam falls down on the couch besides me, as I feel his eyes burn on me. For a few seconds I just ignore him, before I realised that he wasn't going to go away anyway. I sight as I turn my gaze over to his. A big, amused smile on his face as a nine year old on a sugar rush._

_"We did, go out I mean", I say eventually as he jumps up now to sit at the edge of the couch out of excitement._

_"How did it go? Did you guys kiss?"_

_"Why don't you talk about this with Blake?" I ask, not knowing how to talk about all of this yet. We're both in the middle of a divorce, the last thing I really need is to fall for someone now..._

_"I tried to, but he didn't want to share any of it. Respecting your privancy apparently", He pouts now. The fact that Blake didn't tell anything to his best friend, just out of respect towards me, makes a content, small smile appear on my face._

_"But did you, kiss him I mean?"_

_"What? No!"_

_"Why not?" He asks suddenly all serious while frowning a bit frustrated. "If I were you I'd kiss him", he sounds a bit offended as he was defending his best friend, which makes me burst out a little._

_"We haven't yet, ok? We'll see."_

_His frustrated gaze now changes into a pulling-the-eyebrow-up kind of one as he was enthusiastic and cheerful again._

_"But you also like him?" He says with a big grin which makes me snap my head._

_"Wait, also? He told you he likes me?" Adam's eyes widened as he jumped off of the couch._

_"I didn't say that. I'm leaving now."_

_\----_ **"What's wrong with mom, Blake? I'm scared"**

_"Before you go, can I have your last dance?" Blake asks while reaching out for my hand when the song I Won't Give Up is playing inside Pharrell's house. I gladly take his hand in mine while we dance under the stars, feeling my body rise. Somewhere at the end of the song, I gaze up at him, getting lost in his eyes. Before I would even have been possible to stop myself, I stand up on my tip toes and place my lips on his. My whole body warming up as I feel a rush go through my veins._

_That kiss wasn't typical._

_\----_ **"I don't know, buddy. Don't worry, an ambulance is coming"**

_"Hi Apollo, I met you one day at the voice, you remember?" He asks silly with a high pitched voice, making Apollo just clap his hands enthusiastically._

_Blake also makes his way over to my two older ones to greet them. Nervously I walk behind him, while I see Zuma just smiling up at him and laughing with a joke Blake made. Kingston instead, was looking at him a bit mischievous._

_"What's he doing here, no offense but I don't get it really", Kingston says while looking at me rocking Apollo._

_"Is he your boyfriend now, or what?" He sounds a bit irritated which makes me even more nervous._

_"Well, now that you're asking, well, um, he is, actually", I see Blake getting a little uncomfortable while glancing over at my oldest._

_He rolls his eyes as he stands up and heads for the stairs. Quickly I grab his arm, stopping him from acting arrogant._

_"No mom! When were you gonna tell us? Is it too much to ask to just be honest with us?" With that, I let go of his arm as he ran upstairs. I quickly ask Zuma to follow him and check up with him. He just nods and gave me a pitiful smile. When both the boys were upstairs, Blake opens his arms and I walk into his hug. Apollo in between us._

_"He'll be fine. I've been there." Blake kisses my head._

_\----_ **"Todd, hey, can you come over to Gwen's right now, please? Gwen just fainted and an ambulance is coming. I need you here for the kids"**

_"So you're a country artist?" I hear Kingston ask Blake, who made an agreeing sound._

_"We never listen to country" , he says then, sounding arrogant, which I hated. But I'm not gonna say anything about it, considering I was listening from behind the crocked door. I heard Blake chuckle._

_"Yall don't have to." They talked some more, mostly King asking questions while Blake answered them carefully._

_"Dad broke my mom's heart and if you do it again, I'll hate you", Kingston ends up saying._

_"If I hurt your mom, I swear it would kill me", I smile at that, leaving them two alone, as I hear Kingston's chuckle now as well_

_\----_ **"Hi sir, I'm a doctor, explain to me what's happened"**

_"Give me your other hand as well", Blake says as he reached out for my hand that was holding an umbrella. Immediately I am shaking my head while giggling."It's only rain", he adds with that big grin of his._

_"It will mess up my hair", shyly I admit while he just shakes his head, letting out a chuckle. His hand still up, ready for me to take. Eventually I just roll my eyes amused while letting the umbrella down and laying my hand in his._

_He smiles at me brightly while pulling me against his already sooken shirt. I cry out giggling while placing my lips on top of his._

_"I love you", it scares the grab out of me, but yet I could no longer hold it back. "Yes!" Blake screamed out, jumping up and down with his arms open as a nine year old. I giggle at his silliness before he returns to me, throwing his arms around me. "I love you too, Gwen!"_

_\----_ **"We were just talking and everything was fine, then suddenly she started to get fuzzy and passed out"**

_"Oh my God, someone dropped pictures of us together on Halloween", I jump up from the couch to walk over at Blake, sitting on the dining room table. Quickly I hand him my phone as his mouth drop open._

_"Oh shoot", he says while scratching his forehead. He now looks up at me while wincing a bit, to end up frowning._

_"You seem calm", he states, with a surprised and confused look on his face. I smile considering it also surprised me to be honest, about how cool I'm about the situation. Eventually I walk behind him pulling my arms around his neck._

_"They had to find out one day, right?"_

_\----_ **"We'll take care of her"**

_"Don't talk to my boyfriend like that", I say to Adam who just gave Blake a nasty comment. Leaving Adam completely in shock as he looks back at the camera that's still on us._

_"She shoot you down, she shoot you down, she shoot you down!" Blake cheers up the mood._

_\----_ **"Blake? I'm here, what's happening?" Todd.**

_"Blake's just my buddy, no I'm just kidding, I love you Blake. Kinda, ish" Adam says, directly to the camera._

_"I love you, too, Blake, ish", I lean in to the microphone as Adam and I are doing an interview after the tapings of season nine._

_"You hear that?" Adam says as I wipe at my mascara for a second. "Trouble" He adds right away. I just laugh at him, thinking he was pretending I was competition for him._

_"Context", he explains some more. Suddenly it hit me, that what I said probably wasn't the smartest thing. I burst out in laughter now and walk up pointing to him and eventually reaching for his body to hide behind._

_"You screw yourself with that one", he laughs along._

_"No I didn't!"_

_\----_ **"Todd, thank God, I don't know, take the kids to the hospital. I'm going along with the ambulance, ok?"**

_"I wrote a song about you", I bite my lip while that seems to catch Blake's attention, as his eyes met mine immediately, leaving the paper. "You did?" He asks amazed._

_"It's called Make Me Like You, you wanna hear it?"_

**\---- "I will, King, Zuma, Pollo, come here"**

_"So he's a good kisser or no?" Ellen asks right on national television. I'm a bit shocked by her question as I just tried to laugh it away nervously._

**\---- "Her heartbeat's fine, bit fast but not worrisome"**

_"The kids want to go in that new attraction, but I swear I'm gonna die", I chuckle why staring down at my phone, seeing Blake's face grin at me. He's wearing this cute cap and yellow flannel shirt as he is in his ranch in Oklahoma. I hear his chuckle coming from my phone._

_"Don't die please, I won't be able to live without that smile of yours any longer", he winks at me through facetime which makes me blush badly, feeling loved._

**\---- "Then what in hell's happening?"**

"I need a kiss, you're being cute and I'm not kidding", Blake chuckles as I pull him close to my chest. I can't believe I just did a live video! Who am I? "Thank God that I found you!" I say extra loud now, letting everyone know this country guy is mine, and I have never been more proud.

**\---- "Has she ever fainted before?"**

_"I'm nervous", Blake admits suddenly when we're both sitting in the limousine on our way to the Oscars. I snap my head up to him, who's indeed looking super nervous. I giggle at how cute he looks in this specific moment. "Just relax, I'm nervous too. But we have to walk our first red carpet one day, right?" He nods at that, full agreeing while beaming up at me._

_"Come on, put your little hand in mine then."_

**\---- "We've been together for over a year and she had never fainted."**

_"I seriously couldn't stop grinning!" I laugh while I held Blake's hand backstage of the voice, both watching the tape of us singing our duet Go Ahead and Break My Heart on the voice only half an hour ago._

_"I got so distracted by your beauty that I forgot this actually is a heartbreak song", He chuckles as he points at the screen, showing me his face at a certain moment._

_"I'm like a teenager looking at his crush, for real. I'm such a fool in love", he says now, quickly pecking me on the lips._

_"That's what you two are as well!" We suddenly hear Adam scream from a bit further in the room, who was clearly enjoying himself by teasing us with our silliness and love struck selves. "It's gross!" He adds._

**\----"Mrs. Shelton, can you hear us?"**

_"Look Blakey", Apollo says while he pretends to drive the boat. Blake answers that he's looking while hugging my baby closer to him. The other two boys are busy playing on 'the super mamble', which Blake bought them. I smile at the view of my cowboy and baby dressed in hawaii shirts and to see my other kids enjoying themselves so much. Life's just so great._

**\---- "It's Stefani, we're not married .. yet"**

_"Happy birthday sweetheart", Blake kisses the side of my sleepy head as he places a tray with breakfast over me. "Breakfast in bed? Wow", I say while my heart fills with joy and love for this gorgeous man. He quickly leans in to peck me on the lips._

**\---- "Miss. Stefani, can you hear us?"**

_"Hey Gwen", I hear Blake say, which makes me turn towards him quickly. The moment I was turned around, I feel a wet stain going down from my forehead to the tip of my nose._

_"Oh my God", I scream out while jumping back, as I realise it was Blake's painting brush that left a blue line on my face. Blake starts to chuckle immediately as I keep on looking at him in a huge shock._

_"No you didn't!", I say as I ran towards him and jumped on top of his back, wrapping one of my arms around his neck and pushing my painting brush on his face as well._

_"Mercy! Mercy! Please, how about a piece offering?" He ends up saying while I had felt his empty hand move towards my leg, reassuring I wouldn't fall. I giggle while placing a kiss on top of curly head._

_"How about we return to painting the rooms so we can come on vacation with the kids here soon?"_

**\----"Gwen, sweetheart, wake up"**

_"I won't let you. You're too comfortable to let go, even for only a couple of hours." I sight at his cheesy comment as I stopped the twisting and simply turned around in his tight grasp._

_I throw my arms in his neck as a soft smile reaches his eyes, obligating me  to smile back at him. He's laying in bed, as I was just ready to leave to the studios to record some more for the trolls movie._

_In a slow torture I start to reach up to his face and after what feels like hours, my lips finally touch his again. Immediately using my tongue, pressing it against his lips. As he opens his lips and stroke my tongue with his, his hands are leaving to my back and fling right up to my hair._

_Just when both his hands had moved up to cup my cheeks, my warm lips leave his as I roll away on the bed quickly. Leaving Blake totally in shock as he hadn't noticed the game I had been playing. Trying to distract him, so I could get out of his grasp. I'm laughing hard, when I immediately run to the doorframe of our bedroom with a bold smile on my face._

_"You're so easy!" I say, challenging him. Which made him jump out of the bed, which I obviously wasn't expecting as he starts running towards me. I cry out an amused, high pitched shriek, as I race away from him. In a matter of seconds, he has a hold on me, considering his legs are twice as long as mine or something as he tilts me up, throwing me over my shoulder, as if she's a little kid._

_I couldn't stop giggling when he kept on tickling me. I threw my legs in all kind of directions to eventually sat me down._

**\---- "Gwen open your eyes"**

I jumped up, gasping for air as I felt a hand coming on top of mine. A lot of sounds came my way, doctors running in the room I was laying in. As I tried to catch my breath, I saw two special, worried eyes trying to catch mine.

"Gwen, shh, it's ok." That southern accent, my cowboy. "How are you feelin'?" I heard vaguely. With wide open eyes I searched for his blue ones as his finger entwined with mine. Blurry I felt some words leave my lips, loud and clear.

"I remember."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment to let me know if you liked this story. Hope yall loved it! xo Noor  
> \---The end---

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know whether you 'liked' it. Because comments are like starbucks coffee. And I really like starbucks coffee.


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